This week’s question comes from Dawn A:
“Can a Twin Flame truly stop Running,
and if so what is the best way to do this?”
A: Thank you so much for this question, Dawn! I’m glad you ask this, because the Runner phenomenon is something that comes up again and again on the Twin Flame journey for many – and there are so many articles out there on this with contradictory messages and perceptions…
The answer is: Yes, someone can permanently stop Running! Because Running is caused by a triggering of subconscious fear, which we can clear out painlessly and quite quickly.
Let me explain:
The Underlying Cause of Running
Some sites and Twin Flame experts will tell you that Running is caused by an energetic repulsion because the Chaser Twin is being too forceful – and that the lesson is for the Chaser to let go and surrender.
There may be some truth in this and a valuable lesson to learn, but please remember that overwhelmingly Running is not something that the other Twin is at fault for or can permanently change by altering their behavior.
Even if a “Chaser” can stop Chasing and the issue is resolved for a period, the Runner will inevitably still “Run” again at some point, when the subconscious fear is triggered yet again. Here is why:
Running is what I’d psychologically term as a defense reaction – from hundreds of intuitive sessions with Twin Flames I’ve been given the opportunity to attune to the inner feelings and energies of so-called Runners as well as their Twins.
Here is what I have observed: Overwhelmingly, the Runner is not withdrawing because he or she has fallen out of love with or has lost interest in his or her Twin. On the contrary, the emotional and energetic cause of Running is fear. Subconscious fear, at that.
The Most Common Runner Fears
Now, there are many different kinds of fear involved but the most common root fears the Runner experiences are fear of rejection (so they reject first), fear of not being good enough (so they expect ultimate rejection and reject first), fear of abandonment (so they leave you before you can leave them), fear of unworthiness (feeling that nothing this good could ever be meant for them), fear of hurt (a general fear of where there’s something good, something painful must inevitably follow).
In most cases these fears are incredibly strong but unconscious, and the actual running is something that happens as an outer, automatic reaction to protect the person against hurt. And unwittingly, when the two Twin Flames interact in a way that triggers fear in the Runner – they Run. Without truly knowing why.
This is where energy comes into play. All fear is energy: you’ve probably felt this energy yourself, and I’m sure you’d recognize the energy of fear if you were presented with it. Fear feels contractive and tight and low and nauseating – as opposed to love, which feels expansive and big and high and exhilarating.
Fear is one of the lowest energetic frequencies on the spectrum we operate on – and it can become lodged in us on such a deep level that it lays dormant until a situation or a person triggers it.
This is something psychology has worked on for decades – buried trauma and fear patterns are the single biggest causes of neuroses and dysfunction in our modern society.
Scars From Childhood
When we experience something painful in life, the trauma becomes embedded in us on an emotional and energetic level, the energy and emotion we felt at that point gets trapped inside us like a pocket of negativity.
Physiotherapy also works from this perspective: that physical pain can be a psychosomatic expression of a traumatic event lodged in the body and psyche, and once you find and release it, the “outer symptom” (in this case Twin Flame Running) will fade away.
Most of us inevitably have “scars” and patterns resulting from painful experiences, often from childhood (and if you believe in reincarnation, trauma from past lives). So if you for example have experienced being abandoned by a previous lover or a parent in childhood, this intense pain will have caused an energetic “scar” in your being.
(I’ve created a Inner Child Healing For Twin Flames, which you can have a look at here).
Triggers and Lifelong Cycles of Avoidance
What happens next is that whenever a situation or energies resemble that situation and energetically trigger that latent trauma, the person will feel those negative energies and emotions being stirred up again. Even years later.
This can be very painful but often the person is unaware of where the pain or negativity comes from.
In this way a person can develop a lifelong fear of commitment in romantic relationships based on being abandoned by their parent in childhood, for example, because they experienced such deep pain when opening up to love and it was taken away from them that time.
For the Runner, something makes them fear getting closer to their Twin. Getting close with their Twin is associated subconsciously with pain, in some way.
Most of us have some kind of trauma lodged in our beings in this way, but we all react differently to them.
The Runner uses escape as their means of defense and a way to regain control over the circumstances, whereas a Chaser type will use pursuit as a means of trying to salvage the situation.
How to Resolve Running for Good
The bottom line is that energy is malleable, and once we go into a person’s energy field and find the root cause of a particular person’s Running (i.e. the place in their energy field where the fear is lodged) we can clear it.
Consider it almost like a surgical procedure – we go in and with minute precision clear out that particular thing (completely painlessly) without damaging anything surrounding it. With energy tools we can clear things effectively in a very short time!
And once that fear is gone, the automatic reaction of Running won’t be triggered anymore. The person will relax and open up in a completely different way because the trigger will be gone. Once we’ve cleared the cause of Running, there will be no cycles of Running anymore.
I’ve experienced this time and time again myself and with clients – where something that had always been intensely disturbing to the person became completely different once we used energy tools to clear it. It feels lighter and like there’s no scar there anymore.
You can try the Free Help Kit for Twin Flames to get started on this right away – when you work on your energy your Twin will be positively impacted too, it begins to shift the whole dynamic between you because Twin Flames share an energy field.
Clearing Trauma For Good
When we have trauma around a certain issue or person, the very thought of it triggers a host of uncomfortable feelings and it often feels like we’re reliving the trauma again, both emotionally and physically.
Once we clear the energy, however, it becomes “neutral”, as ordinary as any normal episode or person. We can think about it without feeling impacted and bothered.
It’s not easy to explain how it feels to clear an energetic trauma or scar, but the closest I’ve heard is to feel free, clean and clear. It really shifts emotions, outlook and reactions!
I have seen people completely change from energy clearings, myself included – energy is everything, we live in a universe of vibrating particles and frequency waves. Nothing is solid.
Shared energy fields of Twin Flames
Because the Twin Flames are of identical energetic signatures, we share the same energy field – this means that one Twin Flame can go in and energetically clear negativity for the other.
An “awakened” Twin can make a big positive difference to the dynamic between the two by clearing negativity with energy tools. I recently created the Complete Harmony Healing for Twin Flames to help remove triggers of running and separation. You can read more about that here.
In addition, I’ve seen in my intuitive practice and my own Twin Flame journey that the basis of Running often is rooted in painful past life experiences – karma. Examples are episodes when one Twin has died and the other was “abandoned”, or if one Twin has betrayed the other in the past: these patterns and low energies tend to come into play whenever the Twin Flames interact.
When this is the case, the “awakened” Twin can clear karma for both Twins (karma is unhealed energy, so once it’s healed the past episode can be let go of for good and will no longer be in our energy fields “waiting to be triggered”).
Ultimately, when a Runner Twin’s energy is changed and cleared they will no longer feel the need to Run.
Tools to End Separation
In the Twin Flames Vibrational Alignment Program we show you how to clear negative energy with ease, plus simple karma clearing tools that will resolve lingering issues in one single application. The tools also enable you to cut any cords and energetic attachments to past lovers and marriage contracts that may be holding you back on your Twin Flame journey.
Alternatively you can try our Free Starter Kit, which contains selections of the full program.
Since using energy clearing tools my life and emotions have completely changed for the better and my Twin and I are now in Union. We created the Twin Flames Vibrational Alignment Program to help other Twins resolve separation and challenges for good to come together in love.
Sending you love and light for your journey <3
– Cassady x
Do you want FREE ebooks and Energy Tools to help you on your journey and more articles about Twin Flames in your inbox?
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I would like to ask whether having similar physical traits is a sign of a twin flame union. Mine, for example, she seems to be my sister and we really look like as we were related, does it have to do with sharing the same soul energy?
Hi Esther, thanks for your question – really, physical traits aren’t usually an indication of someone being Twin Flames or being in Union because the TF connection is above all an energetic one, beyond the visible world. Two people can look completely opposite and still be Twin Flames and in Union. There are often similarities, though… During Union I have noticed sharing certain mannerisms, emotions and personality traits with my Twin Flame but no changes in appearance – the physical body is a very dense energy and changes slowly, so it would be the last place any newly developed similarities and energetic alignment would manifest outward… I hope this answers your question x Wishing you love and light on your continued journey! Cassady <3
Hi there Esther, very interesting question!
Thanks for asking – to my knowledge and experience outer appearance is not usually a sign of union or of two people being Twin Flames. It’s more about the internal, energetic compatibility: you’re right in thinking that the Twins become more “alike” each other as their energies merge but this doesn’t have to extend to the physical. Because the physical dimension is the densest energy, it would take a very long for the soul energies to show up as similar outside appearances, especially considering genetics that may already be strongly in place.
Hello, I am married to who I believe is my karmic twin. I met my twim flame about 15 years ago when I was 15. Lately I can not stop thinking about him and don’t know what to do. We both had tragic childhoods and lost our fathers. His father was murdered and mine committed suicide. We are both capricorns and have always had a very strong connection. We were unable to be together because I believe we were playing the run/chase game due to deep fear of losing each other. I have recently tried to reach out to him and he basically told me there is no way that we could be friends because of our feelings for each other. I am trying to forget about him but I know that I will never be able to. Has anyone ever experienced this?
Hi there Swan1111,
It sounds like the two of you are still working out this karmic fear of abandonment and losing someone close to you. Remember that we are all eternal energetic beings, so even though someone leaves the physical plane they can still be with us – this would hopefully take some of the sting out of this. It sounds like your souls are actually working very hard to keep the two of you apart because you both have subconscious beliefs that once you get close to someone, they will be taken away from you… Clearing this karmic pattern would remove a huge block to the two of you being together – it would smooth your path and open you up to coming together in the physical without this tension…
Sending you love and light <3 x
Yes, I have experienced this, but conversely. It is me that can’t fathom being friends with someone that I love and want so profoundly and intimately. I cannot bring myself to be casual friends with my twin after all that has transpired between us, both before we met in the physical (in dreams), and after our first two times trying to get together. I wont stand for it.
Our attempted Union phases were so incredibly beautiful and bittersweet…The love and compassion is so intense, and deep, but the obstacles, and problems we had to face were (seemed) so big, along with the emotional triggering (PTSD) that we caused each other, brought so much pain to surface, that it caused us to argue horribly, and separate. We would have had to physically separate anyway due to work schedule obstacles, and his meddling family that he lives with, making it near impossible to have any moments or plan a future together without intrusion and manipulation. It has felt quite tragic, that two people who love each other, and have had to overcome so much to be together have to endure so much more separation after all the pain we’ve already been through (I searched for him for my whole life, following clues he left me in dreams since I was a 6 year old little girl, it has been a sad and lonely life knowing of, and searching for my twin, but having to wait and hold the space, even witnessing him start and end relationships with other women on facebook 🙁
When It was finally time, he admitted that He too has dreamed of me, and had to endure life obstacles that few would be able to even begin to comprehend.
Our physical separation that began 3 months ago with the eclipses was horrendous. I have never experienced such tremendous, debilitating, crippling pain before. It had to be ancestral, maybe even collective pain…there’s no other way to describe it…Cassady’s story here, really resonated with me, especially her compassion for the depth of suffering that only twin flames can know and experience. This painful time was so debilitating, It really scared me because I have a little boy that I have to fight for. I can’t believe it didn’t kill me, or turn me into a raving loon… it was that intense!
I was divinely guided here for information and support, I can finally say that I am feeling more myself now, and have turned my back on the despair. The ONLY way to get through this all, is to turn within, and to DO THE WORK! The information, and energy clearing tools that this website provides are a godsend. Truly crucial to feeling good again, to connect to source and my twin again. I want so badly to be with my twin, and it feels so good to know that he is within. I can be with him whenever I chose, and I now have a map I can follow, with tools to implement that will facilitate our eminent (hopefully last) reunion some time in the near future hopefully.
It feels so good to have the faith back. To be out of the grieving the loss of love, confusion, and despair phase. It feels good to know there are others out there who have experienced this, and have come out on the other side. Thank you so much Cassady. I take full personal responsibility for clearing it all out, and doing the work it takes to get there to the other side, where I see you waving and smiling in the light.
Hi. I like your comment, but I have a question. Maybe you understand, but I’m starting to think we can meet more then one person who we can call a twin. My last episode was with a karmic partner and upon that ending and when I turned to spirituality, I was convinced I was clear of my karmic debt. I too experienced PTSD (I think he does too based on his comments, I can tell) so I ultimately say..why me? Why again?!! I dont deserve this!! He has a gf now, I found the fb pic like you and I literally started shaking. All I know is that I can’t live like this. We are separated now. I want it to be permanent. Does that make sense??
Hi Kim, we can have many soul mates, some of whom can resonate extremely closely to us in frequency but there is only one other being we share the same identical frequency as – the twin soul or twin flame. It’s all to do with the “signature frequency” we vibrate at energetically.
Clearing energy will help with everything you describe. I’ve had clients who have gone from having no contact with their Twin (runners) to suddenly having them phone out of the blue after we cleared an energy block. It really is the closest to “miracle work” I’ve ever experienced.
Hi there Swan, I tried answering you a while back but I see it hasn’t shown up here – my apologies.
It sounds like you’re understandably carrying around a lot of heavy energies due to these traumatic experiences. I would strongly suggest energy clearings (especially learning to do this yourself as these things can go deep and you yourself will be your own best analyst) – so you can clear this stuff away and take the pain out, especially from your TF connection. What if you could learn the lesson from these life challenges without them continuing to cause you pain in the present?
The energies of pain and fear really can be cleared and healed. I have experienced it myself to the extent that health issues I thought were “chronic” actually disappeared once the negative energies were removed.
Sending you light and love <3
I appreciate your response. I have been meditating with the free kit you offered and my TF has been reaching out to me. I am currently in the process of separating from my husband as this awakening has pulled us in different directions. I am focusing on me right now and finding the light within.
My cousin has discovered that i am his twin.he is 15 years older than me , he is married but troubles in his marriage.we had very strong connections since my childhood.in feb 2010 when i kissed him he realised something and he started doing meditation. He saw his past lives and then he saw 1 energy cut into two in meditation. When he researched he came to know about twin soul phenomenon.he told me about that.i have a boyfriend.i love him.but since 2010 strange things started happening like seeing 1111 other double digits n 143 no.when i am with him i progress and when i m not i cant progress in life.i m confused a lot now.i didn’t talk to him for six months but then i had to.recently he met me and said if you want to come 2 me then come whole heartedly.he tries to touch me but i reject him i get irritated. I can’t handle his energy.he has become very strong these days.i respect him but now cant imagine our relationship in romantic manner.he is my cousine.he wants me but i just want 2 be with him but not romantically.i need his guidance.but he wants me to be his romantic partner otherwise nothing.i am confused.please tell me what to do.
My twin keeps running then comes back. We have done this several times…my ego keeps telling me he is playing me but my soul deeply tells me he loves me. Sometimes I think I start stuff because I am also scared of being rejected. We are only 6 years apart but had followed almost the same life path with a few differences. I love this man so much but I’m scared…he has brought out every fear and scar deep within me. Right now he isn’t talking to me…I have been trying to contact him through a dream state but my spirit guides will not let me…I don’t know what to do anymore…I’m in so much pain.
Oh my gosh this is so painful and I ask God why he ever let me cross paths with my twin flame as he has hurt me so much!! He has run away 4 times in 10 years and now has been with another woman for 7 years!! He used to scream from fear when I tried to reach out!! How do I get rid of his energy?? I’m tired so tired
My twin is running and I don’t know if he will ever return and forgive me. I am with child with another man’s child and my magnetic pull to my twin has not lessened in the least. We have already been separated for a year. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Do you think we will stay forever separate in this lifetime?
I experience this 11:11 before but i forgot when was it. Again, I experienced it last 11/01/15 @ 11:11 am, that was the time I planned to gave up my bf who i think is my tf. We met 3 years ago from our previous hospital in a different city, but I had a bf then and he got gf too. Last year, I resigned from that hospital. I transferred to another city,(where i am currently working) and so was he but to other hospital. He kept on telling me that destiny brought us back together but I didn’t believe him. April of this year, we were already on the same city, he was trying to communicate with me but I rejected it as I was still hurt with the previous relationship and thought that I still love my ex. I deactivated my old facebook that time and made a new one. Last June, I activated my old fb again . He was the one to message me first when I opened it, he was thinking that I blocked him. Then he added my new fb after that. It all started there, we communicate everyday until we finally met up. He told me that it was his firstime to see a pair of eyes like mine where he felt that he will be happy and can see his soul….he even said that it was his second time to feel that feeling again. I ask him to whom he had felt such feelings, he stopped and think and said to his first gf. But I think he was not sure of it. Synchronize things happened but I consider it that time as coincidence. I still don’t believe with the destiny he was saying. We both felt, why we didn’t met before our exes, we think that we could make each other happy…we have the same goal in life. 2 weeks on a heavenly feelings. Arguments started. I Got feeling scared, fear..then I blocked him on messengers. He became so angry and told me if what’s wrong with me. But I cant answer him properly. I just felt that fear….but I don’t know where that fear came from. I got him so angry that he didn’t talk to me for more than a week…I was the one chasing him…and at the same time running from him, usually I am the one who’s feelong like I wanna give up, I felt angry also. The cycle happened in 4 months(but our communication is still continuous!), I even ask him why he is so angry even on little things…where does his rudeness and arrogance came from. He will chat to everyone except answering my messages. Its like he is trying to tell me that he don’t care about me. He was really trying to hurt me. I felt that.
October 31–I decided to gave up and focused more on myself and to do what I really wanted. I barely send him message that time and it is too short like 1 or 3 words, I don’t want the feeling of taken for granted anymore. That time 11:11 and his name is so visible to my timeline. We are not friends on fb but when I played that love game…the name that my aunt used the same with his, is always poppin out on my result. But I still didn’t believe.
Nov.01-I was morning duty. I had a very heavy feeling that time. As I am thinking how to gave him up. I was editing my nurses notes and by the time I finished, the time on my screen was 11:11 01-Nov-15 (011115) (i took photo of it) i was at total surprise! my curiosity is increasing. Much to my surprise, the signs were more visible, suddenly his name is everywhere. And I searched and read about the 11:11. He even starts to change his approach towards me. He send pic, his eyes were lonely and I felt the stress he’s going through. I still cannot understand what was happening.
I read more about the twinflame. At first I was thinking I was the chaser…but no. I AM the runner. But because of how he treats me, I also became a chaser (4months ago: he always ignores me! he told me he will not run after a girl leaving him. He always hurts me by telling there’s a lot of girls out there. He will easily kick my ass but didn’t actually do it.)
After those signs I have experience, my curiousity and my confusion grows. When my fear starts again, I would just read the twinflame topics. I start to accept the reality that nothing is permanent, I start to change and love myself. I don’t know….or if anyone can understand me but I really felt more confident and suddenly loved myself…..to the point that if he wants to leave. He can. I don’t care. I became…well…. inlove with myself. LOL! I know this seems to be weird but this is true…..I learned a lot…..this seems to be so fast but this is actually happening to me right now. He wants us to meet up. I just feel like I wanna check on him if how was he, though I am excited but more of its a comfortable feelings….normal feeling, that I will just meet a person I am seeing everyday, which I didn’t felt before……..we didn’t met for a month now and I think everything chaged after I have accepted little by little….though I cannot fully understand what is going on, i need to master the routine and should think more and more positively..and get used to this most of the time overwhelming feelings………all I know is I am happy with myself even though there are times I still feel insecure but the rare feelong of it is increasing…
From where I am sitting right now. All I can see is 11/11……my pt.was admitted last 11/11. All of his tubes inserted in his body was dated 11/11…..lastnight my bf send a message @ 11:22pm. Does it make sense? Am I on the right path? Is this a real twin flame? Am I the chaser or the runner……
What if the separation has nothing to do with you or them running and chasing. Its a situation beyond yours or their control.? A forced separation by others? Its just as painful if not more painful because you feel you have no control or choices. An entire change or transformation of jobs and relationships that surround you would have to be made. Let us also in this case include a huge age gap. The social norm violations damn your choices and limit your decisions. What do you do?
What if they are with someone else? My twin compared me to the first love he dated in this life and said I hurt him just as much or much more than her. Half of how he remembers me is wrong though, yes I may have held myself back a lot out of my own fear of rejection, since I see myself as a runner in my own way.
But I never hurt him the way he remembers me hurting him, it is all in his head. I also know he seeks me in the current girl. But will this really stop him from running from me. The girl he is with told him to stop contacting me, although I feel he will not listen to her.
He said he does not love me, but I still receive love from him. Whenever I feel a sense of outside love, it is from him. What happens once I clear the energy between us while he is with someone else? I have been wanting to be one with him for so long. It is my deepest desire, but I just don’t know how he will return to me. Although, I hear the how is never important.
My twin flame does not consciously know that we are twin flames. But I know that deeply he knows, his mind just not know. He is currently more caught up in ego and the 3d paradigm. I know he loves me and I know he is frightened of me and what I represent. He is currently with a new person and I think he may end up having a child with her. I dreamed of it, but I feel an urgency about us coming together, as if there is service we are being called to do on earth right now. I feel the urge to give him a message of guidance, something indicating that I know he doesn’t know what we are, but that it is crucial he does his work and that this is beyond him. I don’t want to scare him away, and I know I can communicate with his soul, but I feel like it may be helpful to give him some more concrete information. I have recently been receiving so many intuitive downloads about us, but I have not shared any of it with him. Should I? In a loving and non-pressuring way?
All the list of fears you have mentioned were so helpful. I made a list of all those and intend to clear that for myself and my twin. I want to attract my twin in my life as a deep soul friend. On my healing journey I’ve noticed something fascinating. In my childhood my parents neglected and abused me but now they have become so loving towards me. Maybe I only signed up for the grief to be in childhood only or my energy vibration has changed.