When Your Twin Flame Dating others is A Paradoxical Sign of How Deeply They Love You – He or She is Seeking you, But Fears Rejection and Seeks Out a “Safe Substitute” Instead …
This week’s question comes from Lynelle P:
“How can I keep calm when my Twin Flame is dating different women? I am constantly pulled in and then pushed out again just to be left to watch other women get time the time and attention I long for. It is exhausting and I am losing faith.”
Thank you so much for this important question, Lynelle. This is something I’ve often come across in my intuitive sessions with Twin Flames, and I’m happy to tell you that there are things that can be done to shift this kind of situation both on an “inner” and “outer” level.
Ascension and Release of Negativity
When the Twin Flames connect energetically, a release process of old karma, negative energy and blockages is triggered in both individuals.
The amount of “baggage” that will be released varies from pair to pair and person to person, but often this process takes at least several years for people if they let it happen “naturally” (with energy clearing tools it can be greatly sped up) – clearing out everything that has been a block to your eventual union in unconditional love: getting back to the pure energetic resonance you shared eons ago when you first separated.
In any romantic relationship we experience our fears and dark sides being stirred up, things we may not have realized were in us until a person got so close it suddenly “emerged from the depths” – was triggered in us.
This happens even more strongly with the Twin Flames, because we are the same original consciousness – we are the same energy, so just by interacting, we push each other’s buttons without even intending to.
Therefore it can be an intense experience to be with your Twin, and many people’s fears are intensified beyond what they can handle – leading to Running, Chasing and separation.
Twin Flame Stages – Why this is Happening
As strange as it may sound, it can sometimes be easier for the Twins to work out their issues with other non-Twin partners, and this is what I’ve noticed during the hundreds of sessions with Twin Flame pairs where I’ve had the opportunity to “tune in” to a runner.
For the Twin Flame who is with someone else, this interaction with another functions almost like a safe “testing ground” because they are afraid of rejection by their True Twin. To read more about Twin Flame Running, go here.
So any other woman your Twin is dating, is somehow a “stand-in” for you. It might help you to look for the similarities between them and you, because there will inevitably be similarities! When you can recognize this, your feelings might begin to shift. You’ll realize that your Twin is trying to love you, only the outer situation getting skewed because of their fear.
You see, the Twin Flame always seeks his or her counterpart deep down. When it is felt to be “unsafe” to be with the Real Twin, however, this person will seek out other “substitutes” that they have less fear with.
So he’s looking for you, but is too afraid of the real you rejecting him. Therefore he’s finding “safe” options with others.
Working Out Issues with “Substitutes”
The subconscious logic at play is that when he doesn’t care so deeply about a person, it won’t hurt so much if they reject him.
Therefore it’s kind of a twisted compliment to have your Twin Flame searching for a “safe” version of you in another – it means he is so deeply connected to you it’s terrifying to maybe mess things up.
On a soul level your Twin Flame is “safely” working out his issues with these other people, where you can’t reject him. I realize this is an incredibly frustrating thing, but ultimately it’s based in subconscious fear on his part so he most likely doesn’t realize that’s what’s going on.
He just feels that it isn’t “safe” to get too close to you in case you reject him.
Twin Flame Test – How to Resolve This
The good thing is that you can clear and resolve these fears using karma and energy clearing tools – the Twin Flames share parts of the same energy field and past life records, so you can help resolve these karmic patterns of fear of rejection for him, especially where it impacts your collective karmic fields as a couple.
You can, with energy and karma clearing, shift the dynamic between the two of you, aligning your energies to be attracting one another yet again. For this kind of a situation I would especially recommend the Complete Twin Flame Harmony Healing which deals with the Twin Flames as a pair.
This will also help you feel more at peace yourself, and you can also use energy clearing tools to deal with some of the downhearted feelings and jealousy that will inevitably be triggered by this kind of a situation.
Ultimately you and your Twin Flame are always connected, and you are never apart on a soul level – but clearing any negative energy will help you bring this positive dynamic out in the physical also, so you can be together harmoniously.
What Are You Manifesting?
Keep in mind finally that what we give our energy to and focus upon is what we draw to us – careful you’re not manifesting the very thing you don’t want.
Make sure you focus on your ideal outcome with your Twin Flame – your happy union or being together. Be mindful of what you are thinking and speaking about and what you are projecting into the future (what you expect and fear) because this is Manifestation. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.
Remember that there is no real separation between the Twin Flames and that it is a part of the Ascension process, to come to a deeper understanding of this – learning this lesson. You are never truly apart even if one is “running”, with another or you are in separate countries or states.
You can connect with your Twin’s soul in this free meditation I created for Twin Flames, and experience this for yourself. This can be truly healing, as you get to interact with the eternal part of your Twin who’s only feeling love for you. To read A Message for You From Your Twin Flame’s Soul, go here.
The Paradox of Inner and Outer Love
It would benefit us all to remember to have self love and take care of our own well-being also.
Ultimately, we can only truly receive love to the extent we love ourselves, because otherwise we are in an energetic mismatch and will tend to experience tension and challenges.
At low moments, salt baths are a great help to clearing toxins and heavy energy out of the energetic and physical bodies. Meditation is also a powerful in getting out of any negative thought patterns and regaining an inner connection with our intuition and soul wisdom.
We provide both energy and karma clearing tools, meditation exercises and other specific tools and information to bring the Twin Flame dynamic into Vibrational Alignment in our complete Twin Flame Program.
Thank you so much for your question, Lynelle, I hope you find some help and insight in this article!
Sending you love and light for your continued journey <3
For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames here.
Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit!
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I have a question, plus among other things. But I was mainly wondering about Twin Flames and the view on the male perspective. What does the male feel when going through all of this?
Because I think they know first about it and from my experience, I didn’t know all of it until really after in the separation period. It was a 6 month ordeal and he was indeed my store manager which made for a out of this world experience.
Which caught my attention because I never felt those feelings before and man it’s strong. Also I’ve been the runner so in a way, I’ve rejected him because I knew he was with someone and oddly myself. So Self love is my big thing now and it was hard finding out about it at first. But this article has helped my view on the whole thing.
Overall he tried to cover it up, because he knew the way I would be which has made things very interesting.
There were a lot of moments that happen but at times I couldn’t tell what his thoughts were.
Among other things we shared a lot of similarities and inside we knew how to help one another on many levels. His most profound moment was showing favoritism among me, which wasn’t suppose to be reflected among the other employees but others saw & knew.
We tried very much to keep it all hidden but at times those emotions just came through which wasn’t easy. Of course we had the intense eye contact, and other big TF symptoms, but men are known for holding their feelings in.
So I’m just really interested in what your thoughts are on it.
Also this article definitely helped me since he’s got someone whose in some way have a few similarities with me based on style.
But it’s still not easy to get through this period because his name pops up and things remind me of him. Which isn’t so easy but it’s helpful reading your blog. The most profound thing is figuring things out from my guides really months after it has happened is weird.
I wish it would have just popped up when were together.
It all happened last year so I’m still in the early stages of separation.
You have a lovely blog and it’s updated which helps.
Thanks Brittany J.
Hi, I’d just like to say the same thing happened with me. My Love was waiting for me for years before we met. He knew first. Also I found out the label ‘Twin flames’ only after we stopped communicating in the physical. I always knew what we were but didn’t have the ‘information’ until our separation. Good luck!
Hi there Brittany, thanks for your kind words and your question! <3 It's always iffy to generalize about these things because each male Twin Flame is a unique individual just like every female Twin Flame is... I would say it varies more from individual to individual than from male to female.
Well done for examining your situation and figuring out what you could learn and how you could grow from the challenge! I understand the Twin Flame journey can be challenging but don't lose sight of your ideal because things really do change. Remember that you're never truly separated on a soul level - energy has no true boundaries, and the Twin Flames are always connected.
If you wish to clear some of the karmic basis of your current separation and work on releasing the energy that is currently keeping you out of alignment with each other, I would recommend looking into the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames. There is no set “rule” that there has to be a separation stage between the Twin Flames – have a look because you really can take charge of your experience more than you think. I’ve done it myself and I wouldn’t go back for a second x
Love and light to you <3
I think I found my twin flame. It feels totally different than I experienced ever before. There are many of the “twin flame signs”. But: he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Can it be he doesn’t realize it? I’m always wondering how he can withstand the energetic pull!
Second: am I allowed to try/ is it possible manifest a relationship with him? What about free will?
Hi nowayaround, thanks for your question – first of all congratulations on meeting this person, remember to enjoy the experience; often we get so busy analyzing life that we forget to be present… 😉 Focus on your inner connection and visualize the two of you openly together – you are then attracting a closer bond physically too.
And remember you are ALWAYS allowed to manifest ANYTHING you want in life! Free will is paramount on earth. The universe supports us in creating a life that best suits us, and it is up to us to figure out what we want and are willing to create. Go for it! Sending you love and light on your journey <3 x
Wow, Wow, WOW!! I LOVE this blog post the most for my current circumstances. Amazing words as always. Will make sure I keep all of them in mind for the future.
Can you feel the cord that attaches you to your twin? There are times when I can literally feel something in my right shoulder blade on my back. It happens randomly. We live in different time zones but I noticed that when he’s asleep or really busy I don’t feel it. Could this be happening when he thinks of me?
Hey, this post makes so much sense. I just found out yesterday night thst my twin is in a relationship with someone he loves. She lives in the same city as me and he has to travel to see her. I saw him a few weeks ago out of the blue early one morning waiting for the bus.
When I found out yesterday that he is in a relationship, it first felt like someone punched my heart really hard and then I felt at peace, which to me was very strange. I started becoming super happy and alsowas crying because the news was fresh. I also started thinking thst the more negativity I sent out, the more I would get back. It still is shock, but his girlfriend is making him happy and he is learning more about love and that he’s lovable and is capable and worthy of love.
It was strange that yesterday before I went to bed and I thought of him being with someone else, I got this weird tense feeling of him not truly being happy. I don’t want to jump to conclusions saying that he will leave her, I know he cares about her and she cares about him and they want to be together forever. I found it strange that I felt like he was not truly happy but he is happy.
Also weird that I felt and feel so at peace. Oh also when I found out and started feeling St peace, I still felt him near me, like we were together and always have been. Is this normal when you have awakened a lot?
I really love this, it makes total sense. But there is one thing that concerns me. My twin says he loves another yes, but he also suppressed memories of me and says he doesn’t remember his feelings for me. So currently he feels nothing for me. He said he suppressed them because it was too much to handle. So how do I go about this situation? The fact that our connection was so intense that he had to suppress the memories worries me as I am currently facing all of the memories and pain to heal.
Funny how mine is “dating” (hot sexy escorts mostly) while I’m in recovery, processing long repressed deep spiritual wounds of sexual trauma, violence, betrayal & abandonment. Your article makes ‘perfect’ sense why he’s afraid of MY rejection.. It IS something to be feared, especially while I’m still in recovery. Most palpably, he can feel my pain from thousands of miles away, but jealousy is the least of it. I hope in these women he finds the physical love & adoration my battered soul just cannot provide him at this time… He needs & deserves this love & compassion too. May He be happy, healthy & peaceful in Love, always… Thank you Cassady for all your inspired healing words of wisdom & love. You’re a treasure! Namaste.
this is absolutely crazy! I met my twin 3 years ago and from then to now we have both grown tremendously. He was involved with another girl but she literally does everything I do, she is similar in many ways. Everyone always points out that he treats me way better than he ever has her, he comes and goes and every time he comes back things are better and better between us. I’ve been using the energy clearing and seriously after a couple weeks he contacted me. It’s crazy.
My twin is running like a track star! Its been a month and I know nothing about her life other than some feeling I get from within. I needed to read this! Since meeting her (she was more into me than me into her at first) I have been obsessed with spiritual enlightenment. After discovering what a “twin flame” is, the dots started to connect. Somehow, deep within me, I just KNOW we will be together again. I’ve never felt such calm clarity before. Such relentless conviction. I just know my job in all of this is becoming the best version of me possible. How? At its core I know I have to learn how to truly love myself. It’s cliche, but absolutely essential if you truly want to manifest your dreams. The pathway to Xanadu is unmarked and treacherous. But damnit! I’m pressing on!!!
My twin and I grew up together. We were raised like siblings. We married other people and then divorced and fell in love with each other. We also spilt up for eight years and are now together again. We didn’t know we were twin souls until this last time we got back together. We now understand “us”. We have an amazing story. Knowing each other since my day of birth. We have telepathy. We feel each other’s pain. We could never be away from each other. My twin is physically disabled, I’m not. My twin has a hard time being a way from me. How can I make my twin feel safer while I have to be at work or with other family members?