twin flame chaser

Deeper insights into the Twin Flame Seesaw Dynamic and Why labels like “Twin Flame Chaser” actually Lower your Vibration and Block your Journey even more…


Every week I come in touch with Twins who call themselves “Chasers” and ask for advice on how to handle their situation. If you Google “Twin Flame Chaser” you’ll find over 40,000 articles on the subject, often including stories of struggle and sadness involving a “runner” who never seems to return.

Because of the underlying energy of labels and the psychology of identity, this is something we’ve never covered in the blog before. But as so many Twins are dealing with this issue and see themselves as “Chasers”, here it is – a new look at the classic Twin Flame “Sacred Dance” and the Twin Flame Chaser dynamic:



#1) The Twin Flame Seesaw

I’m not a fan of new age terms such as the “Twin Flame Sacred Dance” and “Runners” and “Chasers”, because it encourages Twins to buy into the myth of romance as being meant to involve struggle and pain.

And as with everything, once you match your energy to a “truth” it becomes your own energetic pattern and you align with it – creating more of this very struggle with your energy. 

We can see the Twin Flame connection as an energetic seesaw ride. You two aren’t mere “human beings” of flesh and blood. You’re two aspects of the same original energy consciousness – two connected souls who were once one.

And as you interact in life, your dynamic as a pair can tend to go up and down depending on your energies. The aim is to be aligned, in the middle – back in the natural harmony you share as souls underneath all the earth baggage you’ve taken on in life.

Ascension triggers all the old negativity to come up in order for you to reunite from a place of Unconditional Love. And when that old baggage (karma, past hurts, family imprints, genetic negativity) comes up, many Twins’ energy dynamic goes haywire. From the initial bliss, they tumble into the dreaded Runner/Chaser situation full of problems.

If you seem to be in a situation where one of you is closed off and one is desperately open, you’re just in a space of energetic imbalance. It doesn’t mean that this is your destiny as Twins to be forever caught as a Runner and a Chaser. 

Your energies are just out of equilibrium right now, and you can do something about that. You can clear your energy and karma to adjust and heal the things that are causing the imbalances. We don’t have to put a special name on your situation, because that will just make it stick around longer.


#2) It’s Not Who You Are – Beware Labels

Here is a BIG WARNING (yes, in capital letters, that’s how important this is):

Labels like “Twin Flame Chaser” are tied up with judgment and shame and guilt, and are actually lowering your vibration. Which means it blocks your journey even more.  

Shame and guilt are on the lowest end of the energy spectrum. Be very mindful with what you call yourself and describe yourself as, because as we speak and think, we are creating (the throat chakra is key to this – expression through words is manifestation).

You are an energetic being constantly manifesting your reality, and when you psychologically identify with the Chaser label, you become a chaser because you are matching your energy to it over and over. Meaning – more chasing, more reasons to chase, more struggle, more blocks. 

“Chasing is a pattern, an ‘energetic recipe’. It is not who you are. You as a soul are unlimited.” 


In addition, the more you identify with the Chaser label the more you entrench the energy pattern in yourself, and the more you connect with the energy pools of everyone else who’s labelled themselves a “chaser”. You don’t want to be tapping into all that.

I saw a very eye-opening video a few days ago: A film crew interviewed a group of young adults and a group small children about body perception and identity, asking them: “What would you change about yourself?”

The young adults mentioned facial features, weight issues, wanting longer legs, a different forehead, a smaller nose… All stuff we expect to hear. It’s all around us, we’re used to it.

But when the camera crew interviewed the little children, my heart broke. When asked: “What would you change about yourself?” they either didn’t have anything to change, or they answered things like “I’d grow wings so I could fly” or “I’d have legs like a cheetah”… What a difference!

The sad thing in our society is that we learn, as we grow up, that there’s something wrong with us. Unconditional Love is the polar opposite to this – it’s love no matter what. And that’s the love at the core of the Twin Flame Soul connection. 

No one is a Chaser. That’s just a fancy word for a behaviour many people go through, for very good reasons psychologically. Unfortunately words can be very damaging.

Be aware that even if you fit into traditional descriptions of the “Twin Flame Chaser” it’s simply due to the energy you hold, and which is coming up for you to clear it right now. There’s a reason you’re “chasing” – you’ve been energetically triggered.


#3) The Chaser Patterns – Survival, Karma of Fear

The strongest energy patterns and karmic wounds we have, relate to survival. This is what the 3D reality is rooted in, and I’ve seen this time and time again in Twin clients from all over the world.

The so-called “chaser” polarity stems from a subconscious belief that surviving and keeping your loved ones close to you and safe, involves controlling them. Energetically, emotionally and psychologically. It means your energy is pushing for it. 

If you at some point have experienced (for real or as a child perceiving it to be so) that someone you loved was about to leave you – this creates deep wounds psychologically and energetically. 

You see this very clearly expressed in children: some are happy and trusting when their parents leave them at pre school, knowing that they’ll be taken care of and their parents will be back, no problem.

Other toddlers, on the other hand, have severe separation anxiety just to leave their parents out of sight for a few minutes – crying, screaming, panic. These are subconscious patterns at work: The child feels that their very existence is threatened by their parents leaving them.

It’s stuck in them on a deep level, the fear-based belief that they will be abandoned. And these can be children (like me) who have parents who wouldn’t dream of leaving them. But the fear pattern is still there, regardless of the reality of the situation.

Now, this fear doesn’t just go away when the child grows up. In most cases, fears like this just get buried under a lot of other patterns and energies so they become less noticeable. And as the Ego Mind gets more and more cemented and the child learns to rationalize and think analytically, they push this fear of abandonment further and further down.

The Ego learns to deny it. I know this both from my background in psychology, and also as a child who was exactly like that, and as an adult Twin Flame who had to confront and clear this in order to reach harmony with my Twin.

On the Twin Flame journey, this stuff is sure to come up to the surface. Because it keeps you from being open to Unconditional Love, your soul will push it up. Whether you’ve been aware of it or not, it’s been blocking you from being fully open to your Twin.

Fear has been keeping you out of alignment with Love. They’re on opposite sides of the energy vibration scale. Like two completely different radio channels, you can’t be tuned into both at once. 

When you have a look at what preconceptions or fears might be motivating you to feel unsafe and like you need to control things, then you can clear those things out of your space and open up to a whole new energy configuration – beyond “Runner” and “Chaser” labels.

Please don’t ever believe that you are a Chaser. You just might have some energy patterns that have been triggering you to feel afraid of losing your Twin, or to feel that life is safer if you actively control things…

As mentioned, this can come from childhood trauma or even past life karmic experiences where you “learned” that surviving and keeping your loved ones safe involved controlling them.

Often this means you’re sending fear based energy attachments into your Twin, which can be uncomfortable to them as Twins are so attuned to each other. Happily, these can be cleared with ease using energy clearing tools. We go through this in the audio clearing sessions for Twin Flames.


# 4) You Can Change It

It’s not a given that all Twin pairs have a Runner/Chaser dynamic or have to go through this period. And even if you’re in a situation that ticks all the Runner/Chaser boxes, remember that it’s just energy expressing itself and triggering you – and you can change it.

If you feel that you’re a “Chaser”, simply clear your energy and shift into a different vibration where you feel safe to open up from a positive place without fear. This will change the whole dynamic between you and your Twin.

Because the Twin Flame relationship has been so mythologized over the years, it’s been locked into a lot of “truths” that don’t necessarily serve the Twin Flames themselves, so take any rules and set ideas of stages with a pinch of salt.

Like my Twin Flame said to me the other day – we (Twin Flames) love each other, and everything else comes second. Stay rooted in that love, and there’s nothing we can’t deal with.

Relationships always involve back and forths, ups and downs – and after all, the whole Twin dynamic is about reaching a place of balance and openness to Unconditional Love.

So if you feel stuck on your journey, know that it’s not hopeless. Please don’t give up. Stay away from labels, clear your energy, keep an open mind – and give your journey a chance to blow wide open into new and positive experiences.

As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey!

Cassady x

Want more? For a powerful way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames

Alternatively you can try my Free Twin Flame Help Kit


Do you want FREE ebooks and Energy Tools to help you on your journey and more articles about Twin Flames in your inbox?

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  1. Thank you Cassady. I’ve never resonated with the word chaser but have felt shame and guilt in how the dynamic between my twin and I has been-my being more open and him closing down. Something clicked today with parent leaving scenario. My parents divorced when I was 3 and I remember very well my dad walking away to leave the house. I’ve done the clearings but am now realizing this is more specific for me. I think that is still there but also its triggering my doing the same to my 3 year old and her going through that process as that’s what it will take for me to join twin, my leaving the marriage and that changing her world of seeing both parents everyday. Is there something for me to work on regarding a future based fear? I feel deeply this is a big block for me.

  2. Hi Cassady. Firstly, thank you for your hard work in channelling and updating us all. I have never liked the idea of the runner/chaser dynamic There have been a couple of times where my twin has approached me and I have simply not been in a place to recognise him. On one occasion this really upset him. Fast forward 10 years and I finally woke up and realised who he was and what he is to me. However, now it seems to be a dance on social media and its driving me nuts. He will posted references to us meeting, I have contacted him but no direct response. I mean it when I say I would not have my life now if it was not for the energy connection and his guidance. But here in 3D I am not feeding into this game any more, I am worth more than this. But any advice on reaching the next step up? I am Aries sun, with Mars in Leo so going through an anger/hurt purge right now (with guidance, its all good)

  3. Wow, thank you so much for bringing this to the table. I have been waiting for someone to adress this and to bring these issues to the open and put words on what I have been feeling. It’s like you pointed to the bridge of what is going on ‘inbetween’ the 3d and the 5d experience, or the actual connection between physical/mental/psychological and the spiritual here. Just what was needed in these times. I myself is struggling with this whole new awakening that I am experiencing, that was triggered by a man that I met, and fell in love with. I have been struggling with my faith in the actual awakening and all that it brings with it, thus consequently also the *concept’ of twinflames. This article helped me embrace this awakening and so it enforced my faith aswell. It was truly a missing piece in my view of the new world and reality we all live in. Im hoping for life to give me more of my missing pieces, more synchronicity, more connection with my higher self and the ‘spirit realms’. Im careful to take it slowly. Im in no rush. Ego is impatient, because it knows its time is limited, but spirit is patient because it knows it is eternal. That is my comfort in my darker hours.

    Thank you Cassady, love and light to you and your beautiful work <3

  4. Great article !! I’m curious cassady, would love to see you and your twin flame together 😀 can you share this with us ? The light should be amazing 🙂

  5. Hi Epona,

    Whenever I’m in doubt about anything, I’m reminded by spirit to focus on what *feels* right and what *feels* good. As Joseph Campbell said: “Follow your bliss”. – if you can shift your perspective into that, things tend to open up and you’ll feel your direction more and feel the point of progress, if that makes sense.

    I’m Aries sun too (and Aries Mars, Aries Mercury) lol so also noticing this current push for those strong energies to be funneled into positivity and out of any ego/3D shadow sides…! There’s no doubt there is a lot of kinetic and energetic power in the fire signs, and now we’re getting some tough love to really benefit from those powers rather than them working against us. We live in very interesting times! <3

    Sending you love and light <3 x

  6. I’m so glad this resonates with you, Amber, and I’m happy for you that you got those deep insights! Yes, our childhood experiences speak loudly about what blocks we might be encountering as adults…

    Spirit is indicating re. your own child – what would you have liked your parents to have done differently with you when you were in that situation? How could they have explained it to you or been attentive to you in a way that would have helped you to accept that situation and feel loved no matter what? <3 xx

    Sending you love and light x Cassady

    PS: I have a friend who experienced difficulty as a child when her parents divorced and then later went through a difficult divorce herself as an adult. She realized that she was in a unique position to be able to help people deal with those situations. She recognized it as a spiritual path and she's now running a site with free help for people going through those very situations she struggled with <3

  7. Cassady you are an angel. Thank you for all your hard work for all of us! I can’t say that enough. The power of unconditional love is stronger than anything we face on this journey. It has helped me through all that has come up to be cleared. Shifting my vision to seeing myself sitting quietly just filled with that Love and sending it to my Twin is becoming my replaced programming. It calms everything and helps that sense of control and fear to let go and dissolve. <3

  8. Thank you!! I myself have been feeling the change up in how we all react to divorce being so “terrible or so sad”. People are surprised by how well I seem to be in regards to this change coming up. I’ve never felt more sure and in many ways feel the significance of letting something go vs going down with the ship and all aboard live a not so pleasant life. I can feel the low vibrations that typically come from a divorce and that doesn’t resonate with me at all. I see it as life experience and growth. Thank you for guidance and I’ll start thinking about how to handle it differently as I already was! Nothing gets by you cassady! Thanks!!

  9. I have to totally agree with all this me and my partner went all through this phase he as the runner and me the chaser it nearly destroyed me but we both got through it together by opening up and talking about our fears we now seem to be on the same page. I have this voice in my head now saying let it go when negativity can start to creep in and it helps alot also comunicating with my twin flame about how im feeling we help each other all the way i still do have my fears but so does my partner so talking about it to each other keeps the postive energy between us flowing.

  10. Thank you for this post, Cassady!
    I also feel that the “chaser” label only contributes to feelings of shame and needs to be addressed. In my own experience, I have exhibited most of the patterns that this label is applied to until in one of the healing sessions I finally tapped into a past life with my twin where he died before me and I was just not able to get through that loss and find love in my heart again. In this life as a small child I had such severe abandonment issues that I would actually escape preschool looking for my parents causing a lot of trouble, lol.
    Anyway, after that healing session I was finally able to let go. I had a lot of resistance as my mind was telling me that I was letting go of my twin and I would never feel such love with anyone else. His energy was there present with me, telling me “I know it hurts, but you must!” I did. And the only thing that’s not here now is pain and suffering!
    We are currently in separation and he is dating someone else. I still feel very connected to him but it is light and easy, there is no jealousy, no anger, no fear. I finally feel content and at peace with whatever the situation is.
    Thanks again for your blog and everything that you do. Your messages have really helped me on this journey!

  11. Hello Cassady,

    I’ve known who my twin flame is for about 9 months now. I have been working on myself using your Allignment kit and it is helping.

    My twin is not as spiritual as I am. I was wondering how we can truly connect if his physical self rejects spirituality.


  12. This might be my favorite article of yours that I have ever read. <3 Thank you for this message of healing and empowerment. This was so helpful (and timely, as usual).

  13. I have really noticed that I am processing intense energies right now. I am not classifying myself as a “runner”, but I feel that it is both of our best interest for me to back off a bit and separate while I process these energies. Emotionally, I am feeling angry and his actions are triggering much I must work through. My physical body is experiencing EXTREME shifts including high anxiety with panic episodes, heart palpitations, and irregular heart beats.
    I feel he is reflecting to me my own feelings of not good enough, value, and unworthiness. I’m not sure what I feel not good enough for or unworthy of…I am guessing LOVE…????

  14. I had an interesting thought. Can one of the Twins split themselves into two parts, so that there are actually 3 parts of soul together as one? I met someone who is very close in many ways to being my twin. But not everything matched up with her. The sex was ok and the telepathic connection did not seem to be there. When talking to my spirit guides they told me this was not my twin soul, but someone with a very close energy pattern to mine. Then today this thought occurred to me. Can one of the twins split themselves as well? Otter

  15. Amber there are ways to do everything with LOVE. I have found that despite the way things happened with my divorce (as I was not awake when it happened) the more my ex and I work together in love for our children, the better it gets. Also, it has been a blessing in disguise. My kids were my whole life. I am seeing that in this path of being a Twin having some time without them is actually part of the plan. There are things I need to do with my Twin that I cannot do with my kids around. That does not mean I do not love them, and it is part of taking care of them better than I did before for several reasons one being I am taking better care of myself and thus I am happier and more loving to them. We are conditioned to think certain ways of living are “right.” That is not always the case. What better serves the greater good is sometimes not what we would expect. Time just with me and time just with their dad has actually been really good for my girls growth. Walk through it all with love and in a place of a higher vibration and see what comes to you as the best way. <3

  16. This is what I have learned is a catalyst or karmic soul mate. You see in them a vibration and energy that is close to your Twin but not exact. They are relationships that help us clear karma and get more in alignment so we can match our Twin more. It gets confusing I know what you mean! For me, it seems to be a process of going deeper into knowing myself as well as breaking down my sense of control of the situation. Maybe you can look more deeply into this and see what the lesson is? I know for sure that we only have ONE Twin but we are part of a larger soul group. 🙂

  17. Awesome reply avendesora. Yes I agree with your assessment. I came to a similar conclusion since my twin is often in my head explaining things; still a lot of the things she says to me are confusing. Once my twin and I meet more things will become much clearer, I’m sure. I have to say it was a confusing, HUGELY growth bringing experience. My twin calls this soul mate I had a relationship with, her handmaiden. So many mysteries abound on this relationship I had. Last night my dreams of my twin were very intense and the 1111’s and 2222’s are starting to be a regular occurrence now. I hope to report my meeting of my twin soon! Thanks again for your wonderful reply to my post!!!

  18. Hello Everyone, I would like to share something with you about my journey, I feel that I would like the reflection of others on this to help with clarity. Around 8 years ago, I met David. A friend of mine brought him round to his house after a night out (when he randomnly met him in his neighbourhood and they clicked). I came back to my friend’s house and David and I instantly had an intense connection where we talked and sang together in a beautiful few hours. He is a redhead, and so am I, he is an Aries, and so am I (I think he may be a little younger). When spent some time together thereafter as friends, occasionally meeting up for coffee and discussing art, poetry, photography and music. At the time, I had just began a relationship with another man called David (and looking back, it feels like I picked the wrong David at the time). I didn’t feel I could see redhead David clearly at the time, sort of like there was a haze surrounding him. I wanted to have a strong connection with him, but at the same time felt afraid (I used to live my life in a heightened state of anxiety). Eventually, our contact lessened and we parted ways. A couple of years later, I experienced my awakening. After a period of psychosis, I began to recover and parted ways with the other David (thankfully). It was then that redhead David came back into my life. We met a few times, but I was still very ill. He suggested that he could move into a room I had in a flat I leased when I was still in recover and did not feel safe enough living there on my own. The details around this period are a little hazy. I do recall redhead David telling me some time afterwards (he did not move in with me) that he had fallen in love with me back when we first met, but that he did not tell me at the time. He said that he had now met someone who he felt was his life partner and that he had moved away from the city to live with her and start a new life. He seemed angry with me and wanted me to keep out of touch, which I did. A couple of years later, I underwent an angel healing initiation ceremony. I remember vividly seeing a red haired man who dressed in tweed, perhaps from another time. I felt that this man was me in another incarnation. Jumping forward to recent times, I have fleetingly thought of redhead David now and again, fondly but also poignantly, like I have a loss. As I write this, my heart hurts. At the end of last year, a dear friend of mine died suddenly. My husband and I (I am happily married, and have been for almost 2 years) travelled a distance to attend my friend’s funeral. Who was there at the wake? Redhead David. I didn’t approach him at the time, leaving it to chance that our paths crossed as it wasn’t to say hello in any forced way. Since then, I emailed his old email and tried to track him down online. I have felt a real pull towards reconnecting with him, in a way that it hurts, like there is a need to be seen and heard. He didn’t reply to my email, but I found him on another social media forum, and he messaged me back to confirm that it was him that I saw at the funeral, and that he was ‘freaked out’ when he received my email as he had been thinking about indigo children, then got an email from me (my email contains the terms indigo child in it). I am very attuned to the energy of others, and I can sense that he is blocking me. I feel strongly that he is my twin flame,and when I look back, there are so many things that make sense to me about this that I did not see at the time I met him. I feel that he is frightened of me/of this. My husband and I have a very honest and transparent relationship, one where we keep an open channel of communication, so he knows how I feel at present. I don’t see the connection with redhead David as being a romantic one as I feel that my husband is my life partner. Maybe I am blocking something?I would greatly appreciate any soul reflection anyone can give to me as a gift. I don’t often share my heart online, so this is a big step for me to take. With gratitude, D x

  19. Thank you so much for saying the chaser isn’t something we should relate to I’ve been doing nothing but reading article after article on twin flames and considering this is my first time ever even hearing the word and I know that I found mine and the way that I found him is incredibly amazing but circumstances have come up and we have been ripped apart him being very distant and me completely lost and broken into pieces as I read more articles I considered myself more fearful and more scared and to me it didn’t seem to make sense… spiritual seasaw… explains it brilliantly i feel so unbalanced and not equivalent…feels like the world is rushing by me and im stuck i downloaded your free kit and am starting it today…

    Sincerely Jacquelynne

  20. Going through this right now with the person I think is my twin flame. I’m not sure, but if it is as far as I know I’m the only one who knows about the realtionship and all I want is to be with them, but I don’t know if they know…

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