twin flame surrender

Surrender As A Twin Flame Stage – Why Does It Have To Be So Hard? Ideas of the Punishing God, How to know what’s Right for You, and the Secret Messages your Body and Heart have been trying to tell you all along.


Another hotly discussed theme on the Twin Flame journey is the idea of “surrender”, “letting go”. Many Twin Flame experts describe this as a necessary “stage” of the journey, and I get questions about this all the time.

Back when I was going through some turbulence on my own journey, I asked spirit about this. Because I kept seeing articles and hearing about Twins who’d been told by well-meaning psychics and other Twins that they had to just “let it go” and “surrender”. Yet I strongly felt there was something missing.

It felt like dogma, like something these people were repeating as a standard answer without understanding fully what it entailed or why it was supposedly so important to “surrender”.


Why Your Psychic/Friend/Twin Flame Expert May Have Been Wrong:

I decided to get to the bottom of the issue once and for all, because I know that this issue brings a lot of pain to Twins. Especially when it’s what they’re told in dire circumstances.

When you feel like things are spinning out of control, or your Twin journey is derailing, that your Twin is gone for good or that things might not turn out OK after all…

To be told “you’ve got to just let it go” or “surrender” feels most of all like a punch in the stomach.

So here it is – what “surrender” really means on the Twin Flame journey, why the people who’ve told you to “let it go” might have been dead wrong, and why you knew best all along (if you had just listened to yourself).



Twin Flame Surrender – What it Really Means

The idea of “letting go” and “surrendering” can be incredibly painful. No wonder. Often, we’re not meant to. So many people suffer because of this.

Surrender is often not easy for a reason. It’s the deepest innermost resistance of the soul and being because your physical body itself is involved.

Think how many lives precede yours. Ancestry, DNA. To the human being, historically, submitting means life or death. Terrifying. It’s built into us physically.

The feelings of resistance you have, are there for a reason. If your whole body system feels threatened, it will protect you with resistance – anger, tears, ruptures, panic, all the primal reactions. The idea of “surrender” is in most cases not in alignment with the system’s healthy functioning. You always get signals of what you’re aligning with.

If “letting go” or “surrendering” doesn’t feel right for you right now, it’s because it’s not right for you right now. No matter what a psychic or a friend or a Twin Flame expert tells you.

And no matter what they themselves have experienced. Your system works perfectly for you.

If it feels wrong to “surrender” and “let go”, it’s your very being crying out that it’s wrong for you right now. No one can ever impose surrender on you, nor should they.



Surrender as a Twin Flame Stage

You don’t have to force yourself. Instead, rise above. Lift your energy, align with your infinite being self and get to that point of being so secure in yourself and your ability and your infinite nature, that release and letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you is just a by product of being you – that being free from negativity IS YOU.

This is why Twin Flame Surrender as an obligatory Stage of the Journey is a false idea. When you are in a high enough vibration, “surrender” isn’t necessary because you won’t be holding on to the negativity any longer anyway.


It’s simply a byproduct of raising your vibration. As you rise up, negativity can’t attach to you any longer and you yourself won’t need to “release” anything. It slips away, you don’t even have to give it a thought. It requires no effort. 

When you’re in a high vibration you don’t feel the need to control or force anything.

This is, incidentally, how Buddhism teaches enlightenment – aligning with the eternal light self through meditation in such a way that your identification with the negativity stops, and it is therefore unable to stay attached. This is called “detachment”, and an important thing there too, is you can’t force it.

Do not listen to those who say you *have* to surrender and let go. It’s not for everyone.

In fact, I would say that it’s not even healthy for those who do find it easy, because it is playing into their existing patterns of disempowerment.


Power Exchange With The Universe

The dogmatic idea of Twin Flame Surrender, or any lightworker’s surrender, involves a power exchange with the Universe where you are perceived to have to submit.

The truth is, that you *are* the Universe expressing itself. It is very important not to reinforce the idea of the Universe as being punitive, i.e. a universe that pushes you to your limits or is demanding of you, puts you through suffering. These are myths. Ancient ones, going back thousands of years.

There is no “higher being” dictating to you that you must do this or that to reach your happiness.


You are the one in control of your journey, the one with the map that you and your Twin designed yourselves for your journey back together.

Individuals in Ascension (which is an intensive process) need energetic boundaries. You are in a chrysalis, a butterfly preparing to fly. Until you’re ready, it can be damaging to force the chrysalis open.

Surrendering when it feels forceful, breaks those very energetic boundaries that are protecting you on your journey from negativity. Things unfold in their right time. Forcing surrender can be damaging.


Redefining Surrender and Letting Go

Remember in all of this, that you and your Twin are always connected by an energetic cord of divine love which goes from soul to soul. This Twin Flame Bond is unbreakable. So to “let go” – you’re not letting go of your Twin.

Simply put, true “surrender” is meant to be about letting go of negativity and learning to listen to your own higher wisdom – about shifting out of ego and into your soul self.

It’s about releasing and clearing any feelings, thoughts, perceptions, attachments that are not serving you. This is an incredibly important distinction that many fail to mention.

You are never meant to “let go” of your Twin Flame, and if you’re not ready surrendering to a “higher power” won’t be the magic cure you’re looking for either. Because you are always the one running the show, no matter what you think on a human level.

Keep in mind, if it doesn’t feel good or easy to “let go” or “surrender”, it’s not for you right now. If so, you still have more energy that needs clearing, more beliefs that need shifting before it’s ready to go.

Letting go/”surrender” is like picking apples from a tree: If something is not ripe, you’ll have to force it off and it will taste sour and crabby. But once the fruit is ripe, it falls off effortlessly.


If the idea of “surrender” or “letting go” of something makes you feel bad, you’re still hanging on energetically on a subconscious level. It cannot be wrested from you. It must be done from a place of joy, a high vibration where you FEEL that it makes no difference to you if it stays or if it goes, in fact it’s lighter for you to let go.

Not mentally, but SPIRITUALLY, where your energy and emotions feel overwhelmingly light and happy to let go of this. Listen to your body and your intuition.

“Letting go” – again, from a high vibration. Doing this from a place of pain or suffering or because there’s no other way out is not advised because it will only reinforce negative beliefs about your Twin Flame connection, the world, your place in it and the nature of the Universe.


Surrender to Whom?

Remember that you are source energy expressing itself through your physical body vessel. You are a being of light, the Universe expressing itself. Once you align with this immense power, there is no need to “let go” or “surrender.”

You don’t have to “surrender” to “the divine” to open up your journey. You *are* the divine. You already have the ability to tap into higher wisdom – it’s already *in you*.

Just stop thinking so much, relax the mind, listen to your intuition – the map is already in you.


When you encounter the idea of surrender or submitting, in any article or from any individual (no matter how well-meaning they are) please keep this in mind:

Surrender to whom? Submit to whom? You are the universe expressing itself, a soul of pure light energy. So is everyone else. Therefore there is no one above or beneath you.

The idea of surrender as a decree and a “necessary stage” is an old religious idea based on the monotheistic hierarchy structure of God above humanity. If this is your belief, please ask yourself whether it is supporting and serving you on your journey, or whether it’s causing you pain along the way.

If it’s the latter, it might be time to reconsider, at least open up to the possibility of something else serving you better.


Humanity Reawakening

This is the age of humanity’s reawakening to our inner “godlike nature”. We are all source energy, the “Universe”. There is no “higher power” to surrender to, because you are the “higher power”.

No one is constructing challenges for us, except us and our “baggage” – and we are doing it as souls in order to learn about our own power. Our own creative ability.


Please don’t allow anyone to deter you on your journey. There are 7 billion people on planet Earth, and at least as many opinions!

Take other people’s opinions for what they are. It’s always optional to listen to others. If something feels wrong to you, step away – this is your intuition signalling to you.

If your heart seeks your Twin Flame, this is for a reason. If it feels hard to “let go” this is for a reason! You’re always connected, for a reason.

If you encounter trouble, static, separation, go roundabout any negative connections, negative energies. Clear the energy that’s at the core of the conflict or wound. This opens up to positivity again.


Twin Flame Surrender is:


# Only advisable when and if it feels right, light, easy

# About letting go of what doesn’t serve you

# A natural by-product of raising your energy vibration and clearing negativity

# Not something others can or should push you into

# Not obligatory 

# Not something you can or should force

# Not something a demanding Universe is waiting for you to do as the “key” to allowing you to come together with your Twin again

#You can access Higher Power or Divine Wisdom from within – it’s what your intuition is all about! You don’t have to submit to anyone outside of yourself


Twin Flames are here on earth living a grand experiment. The journey to become our own Love, our own Joy, our own Freedom – and to join together with our mirror self from that place of acceptance and unconditional love.

If you’re facing challenges, start working on shifting your energy – that’s what dramatically turned my own journey around from a place of struggle to a place of joy. And listen to your intuition; ask your soul to help you understand your connection with your Twin Flame more, or differently – whatever serves you best at this point.


Until next time, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey! <3

Cassady x


For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames here.

Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit

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  1. That post reasonate with my 100% you wrote everything that i’m going through !!! I even doubt the connection sometimes if this person is my real twin flame or a soul mate, etc i just feel deep inside my heart that i have a twin flame and i’m drawn to every website by that feeling on the inside. I loved your video that you post on your website =) , you should start a youtube channel , it would be very successful !

  2. Thats what i always felt in my heart.. every word of you seems like a reassurence of my own voice.. thank you 🙂

  3. great article. and seems more realistic for us twins as I’ve been told to let go and felt the resistance.. the more energy clearing I do the better I feel.. and the 11:11 sightings have been increasing immensely the past week.. thanks cassady

  4. Yes! This is such welcome information – you’ve nailed it again Cassady, thank you!
    I always felt there was a lot more to the whole separation concept than the way it’s often presented. I personally struggled with this notion until I listened to my heart and followed its truth. I realised I was never meant to let go of my Twin, but instead LOVE HIM MORE! LOL. The only thing to “surrender” is the neediness, anxiety and doubt that perpetuates separation. Being faithful to our own wisdom and truth should always take precedence over any external guidance – the truth will set us free 🙂

  5. Perfect. Simply perfect. Two years ago I would have needed to hear this so badly. I still did exactly what I wanted because I literally did not have a choice, as you say. I had to listen to my own soul that it was the right thing to do and did not have anyone helping. In fact, two years ago I did not even realize that I was in a twin flame relationship. It was so hard, though, and it brought about a lot of shame as I was judged tremendously. In fact, I am still working to clear that shame because it ran quite deep. Your words will have a tremendous impact on those that need to feel like they can be free to express themselves exactly as they need at that moment – rather than trying to form themselves into something that they are not yet ready to expose. Thank you. As always. With love.

  6. Hi dear Cassady! Thank you so much for this useful article!! Really great!
    Today I had a dream of my TF and his so called girlfriend. He kissed her in front of me and then walked away. I felt strange

    (Once he said that he doesn’t love her but then changed her mind)

    Why do I dream of both? What does it mean?

    I feel a lot of activation in my heart chakra. And recently I see a lot of 111 and also 11

    Thank you so much!

  7. Hi Cassady, thanks for the article, as it is so true, in so many ways! My oracle reading said to be persistent but be patient. That matches what you said about taking action on this journey. I love your YouTube video btw! 🙂

  8. Excellent! Resonates completely. If there’s one thing we’ve both learned over the past 2 years its that regardless of what anyone else says, we always fare best when we tune it out and follow our own inner Knowing. It just so happens that you, Cassady, hit the nail on the head every single time! Thank you for all that you offer, its a wonderful gift!

  9. Thank you Cassady!! This last week has been the hardest in my journey so far. I feel like everyone has been telling me that I need to let it go and I have been trying, but it has become too painful. I really miss my Twin and he and I have never acknowledged the deep feelings we had/have for one another. We’ve been in separation for 7 months and I want to tell him I miss him, and start some kind of dialogue about this. Taking that first step is really hard. But if he is truly my Twin then he will understand. Forcing myself to try to let go instead, it’s like my soul is screaming and fighting my mind, exactly how you described!! Ans it’s caused so much anxiety and negativity that seemingly came out of no where. Based on your article I think I should tell him, and not force myself to let go. My soul already knows what to do. It’s just about honoring it and always following what you know in your heart is right. Thank you, much love <3

  10. Cassady, I felt like I had to “let go” of my TF and I did. We hit a wall in our communication, he wasn’t able to give me anymore he could, even though it was truly all he had. I had to tell him “contact me when you are done with her” and I still mean it strongly now being a week later. What does this mean, knowing I didn’t have to force myself this time?

  11. Wow I’ve been having a very similar experience with my twin as well… I’ll dream of him and I getting “caught” by his current gf and he ends up with me in the end most of the time but there have been times when he ends up back with her and I feel the slight hurt in my heart. I too have been seeing 1:11 and 11:11 and other synchronities. I recently came across a video on YouTube that explained what each number means and what message is trying to reach you.. Its by Josie Gouse I believe look it up im sure it’ll help you tons 🙂 peace love and light to you and your twin<3

  12. I always love reading your newsletters. Always informative and loving. Thank you! This one stands out to me! I don’t know why, as I’m not familiar with “surrender” or “letting go” when it comes to Twin Flames. And yet, I do understand. Thank you! As always, the Universe’s timing is perfect 😀 Love, Light and Blessings! XO <3

  13. Lovely! Thank you….Yes I agree! When my energy is in balance, my chakras cleared/healed, my aura filled and my vibration high, there really is not a need to let go because I realize I am connected to everything and everything is connected to me. Those things not for my highest good naturally fall away.

  14. Thank you for writing this article, Cassidy! So many of your articles come right around the time I have questions about a similar topic you’re writing about. And a lot of them resonates with me too!

    Wishing everyone lights and love. <3

  15. It’s as if you read my mind! All week, I’ve been feeling this energy swirling in my stomach and heart center, and its alot of pressure, it makes me kinda feel like there’s butterflies in my stomach. He has been on my mind so much more this week. I learned that that energy is blockage in the solar plexus, and it comes from Betrayal, which is my biggest fear. I’ve been told this week to let go and I realized I’m afraid to let go. I’m afraid letting go means giving up and i don’t want to give up, even though I’ve let go of the idea that there is nothing I can say to my twin to even get him to talk to me. I’m pretty sure my twins been thinking of me alot this week, I woke up sad for no reason yesterday and I think the sudden intense longing and emotional rollercoaster has been me feeling his emotions, but I’m not too sure.

  16. Hi Cassady, a few months ago a psychic told me exactly that I should “let go of my TF”. It was painful, I was going against my intuition. For a few months I even began to reduce the energy clearings and meditations on your course as I thought that this was what letting go was about. And then suddenly, intuitively without any rational thought I started the energy clearings again and since then I have not stopped bumping into my TF….everywhere! It seems that it has happening without any effort. It is flowing naturally. You are so accurate to say that we should follow our intuition because deep down inside we know its just my rational mind gets in the way. I was also feeling many low vibrations and since I restarted the clearings I do feel much lighter. Thank you again Cassady.

  17. Cassady, thank you again for a very timely message. I have come around to this way of thinking several times when I’ve gone through another clearing but without as many insights as to the “why”. Ever since I was a child my soul rebelled at the idea of “surrender” and the helplessness it portrays. It is disempowering and even to “surrender” to my higher self seems like an impossibility. When we consider the concept of negativity falling away as we raise our vibration rather than us surrendering it to someone or something else the end result might appear to be the same thing but the difference is enormous; one scenario we are rendered powerless and in the other we stand in our own power. Much appreciated!

  18. Thank you so much for the article. Our non romantic twinflame relationship got so unbearable for noth of us, so that the best thing was actually to separate. Now that we are not in connection for a few months, life feels so much easier and peaceful. May be in the future we will meet again, but the turmoil will not exist anymore. So yes, for many may be seperation is not necessary, but there are times where it’s a must for the sake of both people. Again, thank you for sharing.

  19. Thank you for this. I see surrender not as giving into something other than myself, as “letting go into” releasing the control I place on myself because of fear. Lately though I have felt and been told by many that I need to “let go and let God.” It can be confusing as I do not see that as something separate from myself. It is more aligning with what is trying to come through, surrendering into Love instead of holding on with my ego. That being said, I do not want to have to let go of my Twin! I want to grab onto him, to pull him closer to me, to hold him and heal him, to love him and not have to let go. I have had to let go of others in my life and I am thankful for the lessons I learned. This though IS me and I will never let go of that. <3

  20. Also, I should add, that this comes at such a perfect time! I have been struggling with the whole idea of letting go, I’ve tried SO HARD to let go… I’m actually quite content with everything else in my life and the one thing that makes me miserable is the thought of having to let go! I don’t even know how to do it! Anyways, speaking to my twin yesterday he mentioned how he doesn’t believe in a religious “God” but in energy… Which is where my believes are heading and what this article is stating. Isn’t it amazing?!

  21. Hi Cassady! Thank you for this. I just emailed you yesterday re: this issue and all of a sudden you put out this article. There are times I think I should just “let go”, but I can’t. I obsess and I pine and I hate myself for it. I have him on facebook and I can’t help but to creep and then when I see pics of him and his gf, I end up getting hurt and jealous. It’s ridiculous! Meanwhile, all I can think about is he doesn’t care about me. Why I should I give him this power? I used to have dreams of him every month but now I feel like our connection is fading, which is why I want to hold on to him on fb. Sad, I know. This makes me wonder if I should completely “let go” by unfriending him on fb as well as this notion that he is my TF.

  22. Thank you for your kind words! I’m so glad it resonates – and I completely agree, in fact it’s a big lesson many of us have “signed up” to learn and are being pushed into: to center ourselves in our soul’s wisdom and learning to understand and trust ourselves above all xx <3 Cassady

  23. I’m so glad this was helpful, Mary! I feel this is something many Twins go through on their journey. You’re right, you feel within what’s to your highest good – our soul always knows. Meditating can be a big help in feeling that truth. Thank you for sharing your experience <3 xx Cassady

  24. Oh, I am so glad to hear this, NewLight… About you finding your way back to what works for you, and that my tools have had such a great effect! <3 It's been my experience too, it's transformed my life completely x Sending you love and light <3 🙂

  25. I completely agree Kimberley! From what spirit has shown me, many of us are actually here for that exact reason – our souls refuse to adhere to traditional ideas of power, authority and spiritual beliefs… instead to remind others (and ourselves) of the inner power we all possess as souls <3 x : )

  26. This is great! Thanx I just purchased your course last night and felt this weight lift off my heart center while doing one of the clearings. It was amazing even though much of this is new to me and wasn’t sure was even doing it right 🙂 My question is I used to have so many dreams of my twin and feel him feel this connection and have not been able to for a couple of months only if he happens to communicate with me then it floods in….otherwise it’s like I don’t obsess over him with this longing like I used to and I don’t feel like he does either…what is happening? Just makes me doubt like are we even TF because I was like sure we were but I feel so disconnected now I just don’t know what to think? Thanx again…ur a lovely soul <3

  27. This was a much needed post! I have repeatedly try to separate from my twin all year as I feel my ego and societal conditioning make the situation undesirable because he is married. Sometimes I don’t care and sometimes I really really do. I have told myself that I should leave the situation because it can be disheartening and discouraging. Every time I try, I can’t do it for long because the pain of leaving is worse than the discomforts of the situation at this point. You have pointed out in one of the clearings if we can’t handle it, then we should leave the situation and this would evidence self love. Over this past year I have tried dating several others and it is less than fulfilling. Although I think I require companionship that he cannot offer at this time, I’m really not interested in anyone else. Throughout the million (kidding) intuitive readings I’ve had throughout this year trying to figure out wth was happening, it was repatedly recommended that I let him go. Neither one of us have been able to do it to this point. So I don’t think that completely separating is quite the answer. I feel that shifting my focus can prove to be helpful at times tho.
    Thanks again Cassidy

  28. I need to read this again. I was, again, told this morning that I am not searching for my other half because I am not half. While I agree with such a statement, I see TF relationship as the coming together as 2 WHOLE hearts. Being in separation, I am working on loving myself and really feeling whole. The goal for me is to love my whole self and join with him, loving his whole self. Joining is 2 wholes into a larger whole. Is this correct and can this be discussed and emphasized again? The yearning and longing – all my life has been for him, not my other half.

  29. Timely, again. I posted earlier today that I had been told that I am not a half of anything. Looking or holding on to my TF is thought of as holding on to your other half? People believe this – that we are looking for validation/love from outside of ourselves. I don’t think it is. I think it is looking FOR ourselves within us. Is this right? A psychic told me that he is ending the TF connection because he is not doing his work. There is plenty out there to support that position, but I did not think one could just end it!
    Normal relationships sometimes a ‘letting go’ and breaking up, but I understand TF to be ALWAYS with the other and for the other and that it is really for ourselves and our self-love. I find myself having to defend my staying with it, hoping for union, trying to explain the differences, and wanting to learn to forgive so unconditional love can follow. People think I like the abuse. It feels like cheating on a diet when I don’t ‘let go’ or say I love myself or that I must think I’m half of a whole.

    Is there, in one place in your writings, Cassady, that explains this subtle, yet huge, difference?

  30. My twin lives on the other side of the world and a day ahead of me. I have his time visible on my phone and every single day, I see number signs!!! Most common are 1111, 1234, 1212, 111. I guess my odds are doubled because I have both time zones showing but this is not something I would not have noticed before my TF found me. Prior to that time, 1234 was the only one that I always saw. Now, almost everytime I look at the time I think, look at that!!!

  31. Thank you for this! It’s been a hard journey to love someone so much I can’t understand why. Often I want to run away because I feel like this is crazy to love someone so much but they keep on hurting you. I never felt this way for someone and I don’t understand why. I tried letting go as what everyone is telling me but when I do. Something bad always happens. Either I get sick or something happens. I know the universe is telling me to stay in this path. But I’ve been doing a lot of spiritual healing and I am happy now. Reconnecting with him again though has been hard. Slow process. Most often I just want to walk away and let go.

  32. Thank you so much this really helped me. I was trying to force the surrender and thus adding more pain to the relationship than necessary. I’ve learned pain is my teacher but even too much of that can be detrimental. Surrender was necessary in me and my twin flames case but even trying to FORCE that was my ego again trying to take control.

  33. Thank you so much for this article! I have been studying the info about TF a long ago, but I’ve never met such a deep and fresh ideas as in your blog. As for surrunder – I’m a psychologyst myself and I kept trying to let go, as far as all psychics, psychologyst, astrologyst gave this idea. Even more – one of the, let’s say psychic ,was pushing on me with the idea of “let go” – she said that I MUST do it. I felt such a pain, I thought that I would better die because it was a physical pain. And intuitively I stopped listen to her, stopped talk about my TF and after your article I realized why. Thank you so much again, for what you do – its absolutely priceless.

  34. Thank you so much for sharing your experience Nay, and I’m glad you had positive experiences with the resources I have created! <3 Re your Twin's interactions it seems he was giving you space to clear and get centered with yourself, so he was deliberately not getting involved as much as before. He's closer now however, spiritually, he's showing me. 🙂

    Sending you love and light x Cassady

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