twin flames
Illustration: Pat Perry


This week’s question is an answer to many of the questions I get on a daily basis. Make sure you read through, as this might go deeper than it seems at first glance. If you felt angry or upset when reading this headline, good. It means your soul wants and needs you to hear this.

After hundreds of one on one sessions with Twin Flames and several years on the Ascension path myself I have been faced time and time again with the paradoxical truth that thinking about Twin Flames and over-focusing on Twin Flames can become the biggest problem on your Twin Flame journey.

You might want to read that one again to let it sink in. I know it sounds absurd but let me explain why it works this way.





Throughout human evolution the brain has become more and more hardwired to survival. We are conditioned over millions of generations to seek and find problems, pitfalls and dangers. So that we can avoid them or fix them. This is how we’ve survived.

Because our brains are wired this way even though we live in a modern society where we don’t directly have to concern ourselves with surviving from day to day; our brains go haywire. What I mean is that our brains are still seeking problems to solve. And that goes for your Twin Flame relationship too.

We live with the blueprint that life is supposed to contain problems. So if there’s no immediate problem at hand, our brains subconsciously look for one. And in energy terms it means we attract problems to solve.

My Twin Flame explained it to me like this: It’s like having a really excitable, clever sheepdog. If you use it to herd sheep the way it’s meant to, it will do an amazing job for you. If you leave it in your apartment all day, it will rip your house apart. 

This pattern is similar: Give your brain a job to do so it’s busy solving a “problem” you actually need solved, so it doesn’t search for and create difficulties with your Twin Flame. Creativity is great here – drawing, painting, dancing, making music or writing will all give your brain something to “chew on” so it stays away from creating stress in your love life.




When we spend time thinking and overthinking and reading about Twin Flames we end up inadvertently taking on others’ beliefs. And some of them aren’t good. There are plenty of sites about the plights of the Twin Flames and how challenging everything is.

All it takes is 20 seconds on Google, and you can read about the detailed hardships of someone whose runner Twin has gone AWOL for years, leaving his partner in the lurch, or about twins who have suffered while their counterpart married another. There are hundreds of sites and groups about the “stages” of the Twin Flame connection and thousands of articles on what you’re supposed to be doing and feeling.

The problem is that no one else shares your exact karma and energetic background, and taking on others’ stories actually creates limitations and blocks in your own energy.

Because in energy terms, beliefs become blueprints for creation. When we believe something to be true, it energetically “becomes true”. If you believe that life is hard, you are emitting that signal into the universe, aligning with experiences that match that belief.

There’s a famous analogy for from real life for how beliefs work: When elephants are being trained for work with humans, training starts when they’re babies. The baby elephant is regularly chained so securely to a big pole that it cannot move no matter how hard it pulls or what it does. It tries escaping over and over but it’s no use.

Eventually it stops trying. Then, when the elephant is fully grown it can be chained with small ropes and even though it’s the biggest and strongest land animal on earth, it doesn’t think it can get away – because it’s internalized the belief that it’s no use. It doesn’t even try anymore.

Be careful what you align your energy with and whose beliefs you take on. You’re the best judge of your own journey.

If you want to find out what beliefs are holding you back and clear them for good, I created an Intensive Energy Clearing Session for Twin Flames which takes you through that and more.


Another thing about engaging in debate about Twin Flames and analyzing our situation and others’, is energetic entanglements. Let me explain.

twin flame energy

Although we humans appear separate in our bodies, like there’s a barrier between me and you, that’s an illusion. On the energetic plane we are much more free flowing.

Every human being has an energy field around them. When we come into contact with other people, especially through communication where both sides are emotionally engaged, we match our energy to theirs and our energy field and theirs overlap.

This can lead to us taking on their energy and they ours, and even attachments. This can be extremely uncomfortable. If someone else is upset and traumatized by their experiences on the Twin Flame journey, needless to say you don’t want to take this on.

Make sure you shield yourself, especially if you’re energetically sensitive. I don’t mean to scare you, but I learned this way too late myself and knowing to keep my guard up would have saved me so much stress and pain on my journey.

When human beings get together – even if it’s on the internet, because energy has no limits – negativity can become intensified. Especially in groups where many are “venting” about their problems.

Remember that negativity breeds negativity. Energy attracts more of its like. Keep this in mind when choosing who you speak to and about what. Ask your guidance team to untangle you from others’ negativity.

Try the Free Help Kit for Twin Flames to begin cleansing your energy right now.



When we’re in our analytical mind all the time trying to figure out our Twin Flame connection, we’re actually energetically in the past and the future trying to either solve old problems or prevent new ones from happening. We’re in our mind and not present in our bodies.

This becomes an issue because it alienates us from our intuition. Your heart is where you’ll feel the truth about your Twin Flame connection. Don’t trust your mind to give you any answers.

It can only answer based on your previous experiences or those of others. And most of us have never experienced unconditional love before, so how can the mind explain it or even accept it? The Twin Flame connection really defies any earth based logic.

You have a direct connection to your Twin Flame that goes between your hearts.

If you still your mind and silence the stress (try showering, meditating, being creative, going for walks, playing with children and animals) you’ll be able to sense what is really being communicated between you and your Twin right now.

In addition, manifestation only really works from the present moment. All we ever really have is the present moment. The past and the future are mental constructs.

It’s a pretty out there and “Zen” concept, but you can probably feel it: Right here and now, is your attention in the room you’re in or are you mentally in a situation somewhere else? When your mind is away out of this present moment here and now – you’re not present. Practicing being present will help you regain calmness and manifest harmony and love.




This is probably the most infuriating and frequently given piece of advice on the Twin Flame path. “Just let them go”, “You have to release them”, “you have to surrender”…

It used to really irritate me. I now realize the most irritating thing was that no one explained how to do it, or what the point of it really was. All the explanations were hazy and it seemed like people didn’t actually know why it was so important.

My guides explained to me what it actually means. It means “please pull your energy back so it’s not out in the future meddling and creating stress and problems for yourself”.

Because when we are strongly focused on and worried about our Twin Flame relationship, we are sending out our energy into the future, and pushing stress and worry out in front of us.

And this energy creates blocks and congestion that often stop the very things we want from reaching us. So when we’re asked to let go, it’s so you clear the field for good things to reach you.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you have to give up ever being together, or that you have to stop loving your Twin or stop wanting to be with them. It just means, take back your energy and stop sending worry out there.


Deliberate Shock Tactics

Please keep in mind that this article has been finely angled to get you to think twice about your situation. “Forget about Twin Flames” doesn’t mean that you should forget about the term Twin Flames completely or never read another article about Twin Flames again or forget about your Twin Flame.

But one of the biggest problems I see on this journey is over-focusing and over-analyzing, creating stress and congestion energetically and ending up in a loop of negativity and confusion.

And at those times the best thing you can do for both yourself and your Twin, is to take a step back. Have a mental break. Focus on what feels light and happy. Reset your energy with the tools in the Free Help Kit and spend some time getting in touch with your inner guidance through play and enjoyment (enjoyment is a highly underestimated healing force). Stop driving yourself crazy.

The Downward Spiral

If I’m being a bit tough on you right now it’s because I’ve been there myself, I know that the spiral goes down and down, not up…

I know those times when you desperately need to hear from your Twin or just know or feel that everything will be OK in the future somehow and you end up trawling for answers for hours online. It doesn’t help. It actually makes things worse.

Because your energy is out there meddling with everything and causing blocks and congestion.

How To “Let it Go”

So shift your energy and your frame of mind: If you need to watch a silly film that’s all laughs and no plot line while stuffing yourself with popcorn for an evening, then do it! If you need to go out with some friends and dance and have a good time and forget all about spiritual development or your Twin, go for it!

If you need to spend some time with your family, eat a good meal and get grounded and brought back into the “real world” again, then great! Go for walks, hang out with animals, go on a trip. Anything that makes you feel good and solid and centered. The point is – give yourself a break every once in a while.

How to Enjoy the Connection More

Sometimes the best thing you can actually do within the Twin Flame relationship no matter what “stage” it’s in or what the situation is right now, is forget that you are “Twin Flames”.

Enjoy the connection. Feel the love that’s there. You and your Twin Flame are so much more than “generic Twin Flames”. You are unique souls and individuals with your own unique and special journey and experience and connection.

When you remove the baggage that comes with the whole “Twin Flame” concept and other people’s opinions that are inherent to that, you free yourselves up to enjoy and experience your connection in a much, much deeper and more open way.

Learn to manage your energy so it works for you and not against you. Then, you’ll feel more centered and in harmony. You won’t feel the intense need to rush into the future and figure everything out with your mind anymore. Get started here with the free Energy Cleanse tool and info for Twin Flames.

Until next time, sending you love and light for your continued journey <3

Cassady x



Do you want FREE ebooks and Energy Tools to help you on your journey and more articles about Twin Flames in your inbox?

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  1. What an excellent article I really needed to hear that right now it made so much sense I feel lighter all ready and am off for a walk in the glorious sunshine I know I have been living in my head too much since finding my twin constantly analyzing and over analyzing I am really going to take on board what you have written and I am just going to enjoy being present in my life instead of projecting into the future and missing out on so much here in the now thankyou again xx

  2. Great read…sometimes you just need to have faith in the universe, and be in the present moment because that is all we really have…Your advice has helped me beyond words Cassady, Thank you!!!

  3. Cassady,

    Thank you for sharing this. A lot of these points were made in the live energy clearing and I have followed them. I stopped looking up other TF articles and am really careful who I talk to about TF. Your website is the first one that is empowering and feels down to earth to me, but I also know that rereading articles over and over won’t do me any good. 😛

    I have been having more dreams about Chris lately and that is really nice ^^. While writing this, the time was 11:11 hahaha. I especially agree w your last point about thinking of your twin as more than just your twin haha. It is overwhelming and even though it is faster to type TF instead of their name, I prefer to use his name. I guess we should think of all this TF/spiritual information as guidelines, and someone tryin to help you on your path — but no one else has all the answers. One thing I have been noticing on my spiritual awakening is that I can feel so much love and pain at the same time and feel like I need to cry for all of the beauty and sorrow in the world. Sometimes, I engage with this but I also realized that I need boundaries and balance. If I let myself be a channel all the time, I would stop being me. Balance is so important in any situation and that applies for spiritual awakenings/TF ascension. I know that if I asked Chris about this he would want me to take care of myself and find a healthy balance. He told me before that I tend to overthink and he would want to know I am doing well, and not driving myself insane hahaha. Maybe thinking about what your TF would want for you would help people to find more balance.??

    Thank you Cassady and take care! 🙂

  4. I agree… Constantly seeking information only tears you down and leaves you in wonder. I appreciate the opportunity to read posts like this of course but I rarely seek information from elsewhere as confirmation. More just understanding. I realize now the importance of trusting one’s heart, soul and intuition regarding this whole journey. While working on myself and enjoying books, music etc. I still use the twin flame breakthrough kit and other tools but I do not neglect my own growth either.. Far from it. I think it is about balance. plus ultimate trust knowing this is intended.

  5. I forgot to mention I have the energy clearing too.. and plan to do that this weekend… and also based on things that have occured since my last meditation – using the breakthrough kit.. messages abound and things look good 🙂

  6. I needed this so bad!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I have been driving myself mad for the last month because my Twin has been back in my life but he is struggling with personal issues which is really difficult because I don’t know what to do or say for/to him. I just want to help and make it better, for him, so that he can be happy. I feel his struggles and I don’t know how to make that stop, it has brought me to a state of confusion and mental distress because I am constantly obsessing about a way to help him. This article could not have come at a better time! Now I just have to be able to “let go.” I have done the clearing session each week so I don’t know if things are just all being brought up to be released right now or what but maybe I need to do the clearing more often. BTW, the online clearing session was amazing, I get more and more benefits from it every time I listen to it. Much love and respect to you Cassady!!!

  7. Honestly? I see that such a connection really exists. But saying about an energy and spiritual guides is either some cheating or, if it really exists, it can not come from good souls, only bad entities or just a mind having some fears, creating some fearful pictures. There are many people who are not twin flames, only were meditating longer time and they have not nice experiences from that. Writing, that they feel a presence of some entity next to them. If it exists, it may be a result of stopping to think, emptying a brain from thoughts, which can be the doors for some possessions. If it is not only a result of a suggestion of a mind being in not quite good emotional condition. But if such entities are existing, I say: think ten times where from it really can come from. Is it really coming from God? Please think. No matter how that type of relationships is called, no matter that there are people who have some hurdles to overcome, only you decide whether you alone or both of you will go the good path. Read about New Age and the New World Order. I really doubt whether the spirituality is leading the good way or at least whether it is not too easy with it to take a bad turn. Staying with unconditional love, compassion and true forgiveness is ok, but what is really hiding behind full use of the intuition? What is the price of going the spiritual way without thinking carefully your own step and whether it does not go towards occult practices (such as for example yoga, Silva, reiki, Akashic records and many more). How naive it is to say, that everyone is a good person inside only because you can be directed by heart, while obviously you are seeing they are doing really bad things? Psychologist should understand it explicitly well. How unwise it is to allow yourself be directed only by your intuition in making key decisions in your life, not making both sides (conscious one and subconscious) to cooperate for better understanding? Becoming authentic selves does not mean that we have to be people having absolutely other personality – if somebody is thinking so, he/she was lost his/her identity somewhere in between. We have to only change some of our toxic behaviours and throw out our beliefs that are restricting us in making all normal things in our life. Unfortunately some twin flames understand it wrongly: 1 – destroy everything that it is all around you, because you have a “mission” (very, very bad word, great for explaining to make worst things – history is full of them), without thinking very carefully about all possible conseqences and whether you are at all right, 2 – developing a thinking “if I can feel such true feelings (if I have such a true love), it means I am extraordinary and better than other people”, which is an arising of bad pride, loftiness. Also, if I hear about somebody having a TF only in spirit, I am terrified what that entity really is. An imagination or a bad creature playing good and saying that person things he/she wants to hear, leading him/her the wrong way into evil rather than light? Such relationships that are described by the TFs are a fact, but what for somebody created the name “twin flames” and all that spirituality, where from the energy appears (what is its source, because if it is really existing such as the quantum physicians claim, while it is not being felt by people who have not their TF and why it is becoming felt in the time you are being able to feel unconditional love?), why people call it enligthment and first of all – why almost everyone wants to separate spirituality from a religious spirituality of his/her own belief? Maybe because it is a path contrary to God or good? Why people who are believers of some faith claim they believe it, but are simultaneously redefining God? Seeking your own truths? – Great idea until somebody is not a psychopath, because his/her own truths will be dangerous to other people and society, even being able to lead towards indirect violene by destroying fundamental order in the society. No matter you have a relationship labelled as “twin flames”, do not please loose a contact with reality and consequences of every decisions you are taking. You are deciding, whether a positive thing such as love will make you go the wrong or right path in your life. Do not loose a common sense and take into account that intuition is also infuenced by suggestions and you are not released from using a common sense as well. And consider this: Be caferul what you are doing. Being a TF or anybody else is not standing you above other people as I noticed on twin flames forums more and more such pairs is thinking. If somebody is feeling the loftiness, he/she can not feel a real love and compassion, because loftiness is a path leading to opposed world, dark world, even if these people are saying themselves they are good as they felt an unconditional love. They may not notice they feel anything like that bad feeling as pride can be a very clever feeling. Before being “enlightened”, be AWARE of what way you are going through. Good luck for everyone. And thanks Cassady for the article. Just appeared exactly at the moment when I totally forgot the TFs topic and stopped thinking much about my twin. As if he never were in my life and heart, so when I read the part of “letting go”, I had an impression that you are describing exactly the state in which I am now. Or even not yet so fully condition of letting go, because I almost forget for few days about my twin.

  8. It was a great article.. I agree and I too sometimes get too much in my head with twin at times.. though it is getting better of course I find a balance needs to take place. Between working on myself, letting go and doing what I need to do, and spending time in connection with twin through the meditation in the breakthrough kit and also doing energy clearing and maintaining psychic connection. The letting go part has been easier as of late.. … I don’t like the labels… I do my best to not read too many articles except this blog.. and I do my best ot not get caught up in other people’s stories.. though I will support other twins through their happy stories.. it’s the drama that I avoid.. it gets to be too much sometimes.

  9. I have tried to post a couple of times… still not accepted? Honestly it’s one of the best you’ve ever written Cassady. It’s so true.. people need to hear this. Many may be put off by this title or question but it isn’t what they think if they take the time to read it. I’m glad I did. I know I get caught up in the workings of this connection at times. I thank you so much for it. I make the effort now to do the things you suggest. I love working with your material of course it’s really helped me a lot. I know it’s been helping greatly. I focus a lot on myself right now and helping others. I try not to allow myself to get caught up in others drama as I think you’ve mentioned in the past, that is actually not a good thing. I know this journey is a journey and it is a paradox. It is about our growth and if you truly feel you are to be in union with your twin it will happen. It is trust in yourself and in the connection to twin that is key. Trust, faith and feeling the energy for what it is.. when you stop and listen you will know your own truth of your own twin flame dynamic.

  10. the time is now to discover and journey and seek your true self, the explorer of life you wanted to be. if you knew fersure that your twin flame would be there meeting you in the future in a month or 2? would you not go and live life to the fullest and not waste time so you can share with them your wonderful journey? if you truly believe in the twin flame, your twin flame, they’re already in your future. let yourself dance and breathe in the stars! illuminate and you will feel much closer to them than if you were on the floor weeping for them. trust me. go let your self experience, let go of yourself to discover yourself not just your twin flame <3 life is beautiful i love you are. may your journey be filled with so much euphoria and LIGHT! may you discover this. i was in square one when they ran too, but when it becomes too much you finally surrender you will only start to see the light because you can't afford any more darkness. love and light beautiful <3 333

  11. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you have to give up ever being together, or that you have to stop loving your Twin or stop wanting to be with them. It just means, take back your energy and stop sending worry out there.” this is the perfect and the key. most sites say “let go” forget about them don’t remember them, but that just contradicts many aspects and creates block on its own. you once again said it perfectly.

  12. I see cenzorship here exists unfortunately. When only people say objectively what things may hide behind all the twin flames and that it can be from or lead to evil, not to God or – if you do not believe God – being a good person.

  13. Thank you so much, Sandra! I’m so glad the lessons I’ve been learning on my path resonate with you and others too <3 Thanks for being here and reading my articles x 🙂 Cassady

  14. Hi there KJ, the system here requires I deal w the comments manually so sometimes it takes me a while to get through everything – sorry for the delay and thank you ever so much for your kind words! I’m so glad this resonated with you <3 Cassady x

  15. I’m so glad this came at the right time for you, Mel – I know exactly how you feel. Sending love to your Twin will always strengthen them and help them through difficult times, so maybe it’s not necessary to say much, but just let him feel the love and support you have for him.

    And yes, sometimes when we’re clearing our souls take it as the “go-ahead” to bring up other blocks while we’re willing to clear them. Remember you can have a break whenever you want – if you need a breather, set the intention you’ll take a time out from the clearing for a week or so to let things stabilize. I’m so happy you enjoyed the clearing too! <3 xx Cassady

  16. I’m so happy for you Elizabeth! Hope you enjoyed your walk! The world is so beautiful once we take some time out to just look for that and enjoy it (I know that so well myself, have had a very “active” mind all my life too, it can take a while to learn how to use it for our good rather than letting it run away with us!) Sending you love and light <3 xx Cassady

  17. Thanks for that, M. : ) Yes, I used to find it so disheartening to hear that all the time, and I’m really glad I got an explanation as to how and why to “let go” finally! <3 Because it really got me in a low frame of mind to be told that all the time and feel that it meant to just give up... xx Cassady

  18. This ^^

    So nice to see some grounded advice on the
    topic for a change. I very rarely leave comments on articles, but this is so
    good I thought why not…
    I am one of the lucky ones to have incarnated with my twin, of whom I have encountered in the physical 4 times (over 5 years), at unexpected times and locations. No speaking, no physical interaction. There are many characteristic reasons as to how I know.
    Disregarding these there is simply: ‘I know.’ As I’m sure many can relate…
    With each encounter we have run, petrified, from one another. Looking back on it I think we may have looked rather comical, really. 😀
    We are at a separation period again now, for the last two years, which is fine.

    I’m glad you mentioned that the journey is not the same for every individual, and therefore cannot really be measured in the so called ‘stages,’ as I’ve never found my
    experience to fit in with the more generic stories. So I’ve really exhausted
    online resources, to say the least. What I think we don’t realise when we read over these things, the signs, the symptoms, the stages, the runner-chaser dynamic, etc, etc, is that subconsciously, we are affixing expectations to our personal experience. We worry over it, like you said. In my case it was that I wanted to be ready- I wanted to know what to do, and I should aim for perfection…
    There was something that I noticed around the third encounter, but struggled to put into
    words, of which this post explains beautifully…
    I realised that each encounter had something in common. I/we had previously ‘let go’ of
    something. At first I thought it had to be him- it was him I had to let go of,
    forget, right? ‘What you set free will come back to you’ sort of thing.
    But it wasn’t that, exactly.
    What we let go of was expectations and therefore the need to define it.
    So I think this is pretty crucial. Not just to the TF relationship but to many other things in
    life as well. Over-analyzing means living in the head, and this is not a
    head-based relationship. It is a heart-based one.
    So I’ll just branch off and agree with another part of the post, and that is about living in
    the now. Being completely present in the body, in this moment (the only moment
    that will ever exist) is of paramount importance.

    Thank you so much
    Cassady. Really enjoy your work…. xx

  19. Actually, I always already know all about my next steps to take. About my soul mission as a lightworker, about my past life that i need to clear, about my contribution to the people here in India especially women who suffer due to male domination. These are messages that my higher self give me. i know that my twin flame want me to first fulfill my life purpose happily before we unite. He loves me too as I can see in his eyes. He never abused me even if we argued. But when we meet, at parties, he never talk to me, Because he is scared and he feels that all this talk is ghostly and he is just so afraid to even think of such love existing. I always make myself strong and quiet because i live my life with purpose. I have a wonderful loving husband and life is all good. But no sooner than I meet my twin flame at social gatherings (because we are relatives), I am all broken again and I desperately start to search the internet all over again especially the tarot card readings and astrology reports. i let go for a month and again the cycle repeats. I never want to leave my husband because we both have a shared life purpose and he is so nice. Even after knowing everything i desperately search for things because i think we will never unite in this lifetime(given his age) and take all the negative energy from people over the internet. but then I read your articles and feel so much grateful to you that u have really saved me from creating bad energy fields. i just want to stop searching internet and keep myself occupied in my studies as it is the best solution for everyone involved.

  20. Hi ! I’m hoping someone can give me a clue as to what or how I/we can get through this ! I had never even heard of twin flames ! I have had a woman I have known all my life ,through a seemingly random series of events tell me she has had feelings for me for over 20 years since we were teenagers! I also have had feelings for her too but didn’t realise how much ! Go figure!! We went to each others weddings and after talking found out that it upset us both seeing each other marrying someone else , Anyway “bang “the next thing we know we are having weird experiences , knowing how each other are feeling etc and the love I/we feel is unreal ! Then I read about twin flames and it all became clear ! 2 years on and many splits and reconnections later we have split again down to me not being able to cope with her being married to someone else , I’m just getting divorced, this all happend 2 months after my wife and I decided to split ! So it’s been a rough 2 years ! I want to be with her so badly the joy of being together is emense and we can lose hours just sitting together! She says she wants to be with me and she has and always will be mine but can’t leave her marriage mainly for her kids sake which I get but its caused us some serious pain and I have said we need to let go but again 3 weeks in and the pull to be together is getting stronger and stronger but each time we give in we get closer and closer and she gets upset because she’s married and feels guilty for feeling this way about me then the hurt starts and bang we split ! How can this be stopped neither of us can take much more ! Help please !

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