This week’s question comes from Donna and is something quite a few of you have asked me recently – it’s also come up in several Twin Flame sessions as something spirit would like us to address at this time.
Before we start today, a reminder – if you haven’t already done so what are you waiting for? Download my Free Twin Flame Help Kit which contains a selection of powerful Guided Energy Clearing Meditations from my full program.
This will help you clear out any congestion and negative energy which creates problems for so many Twin Flames on their journey.
I get emails every single week from Twins whose situation has changed dramatically for the better after using this free tool pack. You can have a look at some of their comments and experiences here.
Q: “Are Twin Flames made to be only with each other?”
A: This is an incredibly interesting question I know is relevant for so many Twins, so thank you for asking!
As we know, the Twin Flames share an extremely close connection both emotionally and energetically – as spirits we desired to come to the physical plane to experience the illusion of separation and to come together despite this (and to help raise the vibrations of planet earth).
To experience unconditional love on a plane of illusion and perceived separation – to cut across the illusion and come together.
As spirits the Twin Flames are both fully committed to each other and yet fully free with each other – expecting (and even encouraging) each other to experience as much of life on earth as possible. On this level, we love each other no matter what.
On the earth plane the story is often quite different, with complications that come with physical existence and the involvement of other people.
Other People’s Energy
In terms of Twin Flame Union, energetically being with someone else (especially sexually) does complicate the situation in terms of a Union being possible, because Twin Flame Union is the merging process of the two Twins’ energies back together.
So if a third or even a fourth person’s energy is involved in the mix (when we have sex with someone we inevitably take on some of their energy and they take on some of ours) this becomes more of a challenge.
Ultimately the Twin Flames’ spirits and guides will not instigate Union unless the energies present for each individual are clear and high vibratory enough for the process to not damage each individual’s energetic system and healthy functioning. But there is nothing forcing each Twin Flame to commit to each other. We always have Free Will.
Clearing other people’s energy and attachments out of your space is powerful in smoothing your Twin Flame journey – if we have attachments to previous lovers these will be complicating the situation greatly and potentially cause triggering in the Twin Flame pair.
In the new Complete Harmony Healing for Twin Flames, we go through cleansing both Twins’ chakra systems remotely, removing triggers such as abandonment fears, shielding both Twins and downloading new light codes to assist in the union process. To read more, go here.
As spirit reminds me right now, however – the connection between Twin Flames is so strong and heightened that most people would not willingly go back to “average” interactions after having experienced love with their Twin. And if they do, there is an underlying reason – most often fear.
On the energetic plane, two Twin Flames making love activate powerful energies that connect directly into the source of all consciousness, making it not simply a physical act of gratification but an experience that exceeds religious epiphanies or drug-induced ecstasy. Each time Twin Flames make love they experience blissful togetherness beyond what most people get to feel in life.
Monogamous in Spirit
Spirit shows me that ultimately, as souls, the Twin Flames love each other unconditionally. Regardless of any earth-based behavior. We are all magnetized to each other. From our earthly perspective it might sound strange and like bending the truth, but spirit shows me that each time one of the Twins makes love to someone, they are expressing the love they feel for their Twin Flame.
In this way the Twin Flames are always monogamous (which comes from the Greek words “mono” = “singular”, and “agape” = “love”) – as souls who deeply love their divine counterpart.
Voluntary vs Enforced Monogamy
Spirit indicates that on the earth plane, however, there are many complicating factors involved in this issue – for one, there are different ways of looking at the idea of physical monogamy.
And they remind us that this is what our question is based in: for humans on the earth plane we are focused on physical monogamy (and on a side note they indicate that many physically monogamous marriages on earth are actually not monogamous spiritually and emotionally – what is most important? they ask rhetorically).
So on earth firstly, there is enforced monogamy, where two people push themselves to not interact sexually with anyone else despite any urges to. This is what is often deemed appropriate in modern society.
Secondly, and conversely, there is voluntary monogamy where the people really do not have any interest in being with anyone else.
The Twin Flame connection often falls under the latter description – Once the Twins forge a connection based in soul recognition, many lose romantic and sexual interest in other people completely.
When Sex is Driven by Fear and Expectation
If and when this doesn’t happen, it is often due to energetic patterns and attachments taken on during life on earth.
I have learned from my own Twin Flame that not only society’s expectations but actual negative attachments can energetically push individuals to seek gratification on the physical plane as an addiction-like behavior.
He explained to me that it “tears you apart” to be the person with the habitual behavior of serial encounters while your soul screams out for your Twin Flame.
His point is that many unawakened Twins operate on habitual sexual and relationship patterns that they do not truly desire. It’s kind of like smoking – most people who smoke know it doesn’t help them but they find it hard to stop because the habit is so ingrained.
Once we start to peel away the layers of energy around fear, societal ideas of “appropriate” and even “admirable” sexual behavior for males and females, however (as well as any cords of attachment to previous lovers) the full connection between the Twin Flames becomes clearer and more resonant.
Then, monogamy is likely be the choice both will make, once any disrupting energetic patterns are cleared.
(If you would like to clear these things, you can start doing this even if you are not with your Twin right now – because you share a collective karmic and energetic field one Twin can clear for both: have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program I created to help Twins to Union – it contains easy tools to clear energy blocks, karma and more.)
Uncovering Undying Love
As mentioned in a previous Q&A on Twin Flame Running some people fear their Twin Flame more than anything because this is the person whose rejection would hurt them beyond repair.
Twins with this patter feel unsafe to stay with their Twin Flame, and will often seek closeness, love and sexual release with others even if deeply in love with their Twin Flame.
One big issue between Twin Flames is that these kinds of fears (of rejection, of hurt, of abandonment) often obscures love.
If someone behaves in a strange way, hurting you, ask yourself: “What fear is motivating their behavior”? When someone acts unloving, there is usually fear involved – it is not felt to be safe to open up and give and receive love.
Twin Flame Telepathy – Blessing or Curse?
The idea of the Twin Flames loving only each other at heart might seem a bit far-fetched to us in our modern day society, where most people have at least a handful of partners in their lifetime, some many, many more.
From an earthly perspective, it doesn’t make sense to a lot of us – and when we encounter this idea in Twin Flame circles it can seem like pure fantasy – as we see the world as fractured and people as individual agents of action who don’t always behave like our ideal.
If your Twin Flame connection is a romantic one and your Twin sleeps with someone else it will most likely feel crushing, and something that can make this side of the Twin Flame journey so challenging is the strong telepathic and emotional connection between the Twins – which effectively means that we can sense when our counterpart is with another. This can be excruciating.
The Runner’s Anguish
Spirit seeks to help us by asking us to look at situations like these from a non-earth perspective. They explain that ultimately each Twin’s soul seeks each other. Always.
They ask us to remember that when the Twin Flames are involved with other people, they are seeking aspects of their divine counterpart – if we look at the partners of Twin Flames who are not together, we most often find people with similar traits, appearance, personalities, energy and so on. Take this as a sign that your Twin Flame’s soul is seeking you.
When I perform readings for Twins and I tune into a Runner’s energy, their soul often comes through to communicate, showing anguish at how they on an ego level are hurting their Twin, the one person they value the most in the entire universe.
Twin Flames’ Core Wounds
Nearly all Twin Flames carry the core wound around fear of abandonment. Fearing that your Twin Flame will leave you or not be there for you. When our Twin interacts with other people, this fear is deeply triggered.
I was shown recently that whatever we fear and that bothers us the most – once we feel it the deepest and are willing to move past it, we can release it for good. And beyond fear there is freedom. As long as we have fear, we have limitations.
When we release these fears and rise above, Love becomes Pure Love. Not the Love we often experience on earth, which is full of expectation and conditions. Often in life people think they love someone when they are actually scared of losing them or afraid of ending up alone.
Solutions to Pain
Even if you feel incapable of loving your Twin Flame when the thoughts of them with others are bothering you the most, you can work on shifting into your feelings of Love for something else.
Love of the beauty of nature, or Love of music, or Love of the innocence of babies and animals – and in doing so you will lift yourself into a higher vibration, allowing yourself to feel Love no matter what.
On this Twin Flame journey we are pushed to learn the difference between conditional and unconditional Love, so we can release what holds us back (what the Buddhists call “attachment”) and move into the realms of Love for Love’s own sake. Love that holds no expectations and no force.
I hope this answer provides some insight for those seeking relief and guidance.
Until next time, sending you love and light on your continued journey <3
PS: I’d like to add the note that in my experience with hundreds of Twin Flame pairs and from what spirit indicates – some Twins (especially same sex Twins) share a loving connection without being sexually involved. In these cases the emotional pain of experiencing your Twin being close to someone else can still be hard to handle, however, so I hope this post will provide insight and guidance in some way for these Twins also.
Want more? For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames here.
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