The Real Reason Why Your Twin Flame Hurt You


The key to the Gates of Unconditional Love. Why Hurt is a Gift, and the Wonder of A**holes on the spiritual path. Plus, why it’s never time to give up on your Twin Flame…


In this week’s Q&A I’d like to address an issue I’m contacted about by Twins from all over the world – how to deal with hurt and pain and rejection. Especially the deep pain of your Twin Flame hurting you.

In order to really properly give you the truth about the issue in this week’s article we’re going to go deep. Way back. To the beginning.

The Twin Flame path is above all the journey back to Unconditional Love.

As a soul, unconditional love and seeing the best in everyone is your natural state.

In fact, before coming to earth you and your Twin Soul loved each other so much you volunteered to share your love and your understanding of Love with the human collective to help them.

Human Love vs Unconditional Love

The majority of Earth’s cultures have forgotten what Love really is. Unconditional love is not the norm in our modern societies, nor has it been for millennia, if ever in most places.

Human ideas of love mainly relate to bonds of loyalty, sexual attraction, togetherness, marriage, family ties… Human beings love each other most often, because of something.

Human love has fear attached to it. Fear of losing the other person, fear of doing something wrong, fear of it ending, fear of hurt.

Unconditional Love, on the other hand, is completely free from expectations. There is no because. The soul loves for no reason and every reason.

There is no fear in the ENERGY of love. In fact, love and fear are on opposite sides of the energy spectrum. They cannot exist in the same space at the same time.

True Love is an extremely high vibrational energy – expansive, high, light, invincible. The feeling of wanting to share love with every being on earth, the energy of being completely fearless.

Loving no matter what the other person does, says, thinks, feels…

Why We Had to Forget Our Twin

This kind of Unconditional Love is what the Twins are here to re-experience from the physical perspective.

We knew we would forget this Love once we came to Earth, that we’d take on fear and shame and guilt and worries and all the other human patterns, but we were so confident in our love that we volunteered to come here.

To be template bearers of these incredibly high vibrational energies. Most Twins forgot completely why they were here, until ‘awakening’ started rattling us again back to our true soul selves.

Underneath all of the earth energies and beliefs and negativity we’ve taken on, lies the core of Unconditional Love we share with our Twin Soul.

We had to forget this, in order for us to understand the human condition, to assimilate. To understand how almost every person on earth feels incomplete, separate, and is seeking wholeness and love without ever finding it.

But once awakening and Ascension begins for the Twin Flames, our souls start to push us back to remembrance, back to this core of unconditional love again.

It begins to release and push up all the congestion that’s kept it hidden.

This is why the Twin journey can be so hard. I have found that energy clearing is the most effective and painless way to deal with this process, which is why I decided to share free tools with Twins to experience the huge shifts we can achieve that way.

Setting Up Challenges, Pain, Hurt

In order to remember the unconditional love we knew as souls, to push our experience and rattle our deeper understanding, we deliberately set ourselves up with challenges.

We arranged to meet people who would be really HARD to love. These are the souls who volunteered to help us understand UNCONDITIONAL love. To REMEMBER why we’re here.

Because nice and loving and lovely people are easy to love, right? It’s the people who are hard to love who can show you the difference between conditional and unconditional.

Often, the person who’s pushing you the most is your Twin Flame.

The truth is that we ourselves have chosen this. Something which was a big lesson and a challenge on my own journey – the fact that i somehow arranged for myself to be hurt. Pre-planned pain for myself.

You see, the reason is that hurt is an amazing teacher. It breaks down the barriers we’ve built, rattles the illusion of reality and makes us remember who we really are. It makes us seek more, call for more, pray for more. 

Hurt helps push us to the edge of what we’ll tolerate. It makes us carry out changes and take chances and open up to what we might have otherwise been too comfortable or “stuck” to bother with.

The A**hole As Spiritual Teacher

It can be hard to accept that we ourselves as souls can arrange for hardships and challenges to occur in our lives, but I’ve been shown this again and again.

The very people who are rattling us the most, are those who are reflecting back to us our own issues and wounds – and ultimately, they’re the ones who help us the most!

That’s right! The a**holes are our greatest teachers! Why? Because they make us question things, they make us look deeper, they trigger us. And beneath all of that, lies understanding.

If you want to make the journey smoother, to show your soul that you’re ready to move away from the “school of hard knocks” spiritual awakening – start looking for the light inside everyone you encounter. ESPECIALLY the A**holes.

Look for the child in them, the soul in them, the wounded person inside. Look behind the facade. When you start seeing this, you’ll begin to open up to unconditional love. Love that reaches beyond actions and words and behavior.

There Is Always A Reason

And you know what? Those people who are the hardest to love… they’re like that for a reason.

They’re like that because they don’t love themselves. They have shut off, because they don’t expect to ever be loved.

Like many other Twins, I grew up with a parent like that (who was incidentally there to mirror my Twin’s energy to me, preparing me to understand him and his issues).

As the years passed, I learned that my father would never show me love. Eventually I gave up trying.

It was only as an adult with the help of spirit that I understood why he’d been like that – the truth was he didn’t love himself, so he wasn’t able to love anyone else.

And the craziest thing? It went way further back. He had felt no love from his own parents, and that’s why he had shut down. And the same with his parents.

Some families have a history like this of dozens of generations of children feeling rejected and unloved, who then pass it on to their own children as adults.

This is karma in action. We carry both personal and collective and ancestral karma, and love is at the core of so many of humanity’s struggles.

Twin Flames are here to help eradicate and break those exact karmic patterns – we have volunteered to.

Until we understand the repercussions of this, it can feel like being stuck in a loop of misfortune and hurt but it can be unlocked surprisingly quickly once we go within and find out more.

For a smooth and fast way to clear ancestral and personal karmic issues blocking your Twin journey, have a look at my energy clearing sessions for Twin Flames, which takes you through this with ease.

Freeing Yourself From Hardship

A huge change occurs when you shift your mindset, your perspective.

When you move out of feeling victimized and hurt by others, and instead begin to recognize that everyone is a being of light, a soul who has taken on fears and patterns and limitations and distorted perceptions in life and is acting out of these things – you eventually will be able to love anyone, no matter what (in theory… in practice it might be a work in progress).

When you start to shift your perspective like that, your soul will start to “ease up” on you and begin to actively show you more of the good – show you the beauty and the light inside everything. Show you “heaven on earth”. You will not be attracting hurt anymore. 

You came to earth to experience Love, so as long as you’re trying to shut out the hurt or the pain or keep vulnerability at a distance, your Soul will be working to confront you with it in order to free you up. It’s doing it to help you.

Why Your Twin Flame Hurt You

Again, the biggest trigger, the key a**hole we encounter in life, is often our Twin Flame. If this is the case for you, or has been at some point, remember it’s because they’re triggering you.

The two of you have set up this dynamic long before you ever came to life.

You chose the families that would provide you with the negative patterns, the destructive or careless personality traits. You chose to grow up in these towns and cities and in these neighborhoods.

You chose and engineered for yourself these “issues”. So that you would be pushed to remember. So you would learn to love each other DESPITE the problems. To love Unconditionally.

The point of this journey and of the hurt, is to get you to question and release your self-perceptions, your beliefs, your limits. So you can ultimately love yourself and your Twin Unconditionally. This is the true Union of Twin Souls.

Love no matter what. Not just when things are going well.

So, the next time someone’s really pushing your buttons, ask: “What is this meant to be teaching me?”

Begin to look for the light in everyone and everything – yourself included. The more you do, the more it shines through and the greater your capacity for giving and receiving love, the higher your vibration rises.

Clearing energy the way we do in the Vibrational Alignment Program is a really great way to open up to unconditional love because it allows us to eradicate the congestion and negativity that’s been obscuring the love we Twins share at a soul level.

Like an orange, we get to peel away the outside layer of “earth patterns” and energy of worry, fear, stress and all the typical societal negativity we all inadvertently take on during life, and get down to the core of love and light beneath.

This is why I was asked by spirit to share the program and the tools with as many Twins as possible.

When You’re About To Give Up on Your Twin

Lastly, I see many Twins commenting and writing to me that they’re giving up on their Twin Flame connection, that it hurts too much, that it’s not worth it…

I’d like to reach out a hand to all of you and leave you with a thought to ponder:

When you feel like that, it’s a sign that you’re about to break through… The biggest shifts come after the biggest blocks have been confronted and moved.

The biggest growth comes after the biggest push. Often, the change you think is never coming is in fact right around the corner.

On my own journey, I noticed that for every time we had an upset where we made the choice forgive and love each other and put the past behind us, our capacity to love grew. Our love grew deeper and wider and stronger. Our connection got closer.

So if you feel like giving up, try this one last thing. Resolve to forgive both yourself and your Twin for this whole situation.

You don’t have to forget, just release the grip on the pain. Then give it a few days, focus on something else and watch the miracle of energy shifting.

When you forgive, you allow the negativity to leave. If you hold onto the hurt, you’re calling in more and more hurt. Give yourself and your Twin a chance.

As Spirit reminds us – our Twin Flame is us, if we grew up with their families, ancestry, patterns and experiences. Separation really is an illusion. And it’s this feeling in itself that’s the biggest hurt of all.

As always, I’m sending you all love and light for your continued journeys! <3 Thank you all for being a part of the Twin Flames 11:11 community. I believe in you!

Cassady x

Want more? For powerful methods to elevate your vibration, end separation and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames here.

twin flame program

Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit.

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