twin flames connection

5 Surprising Facts, including How Twins in Separation can still be in a Behind-the-Scenes “Secret” Union process, How Your Twin could be Depleting Your Heart Chakra, plus the Influence of old Love Attachments on the journey… 

This week’s Q&A question comes from Laurie, who asks:

“My Twin Flame and I aren’t together – why do I feel unable to love or be interested in anyone else, even though I’m not in love with my Twin anymore?”

Thank you so much for addressing this issue, Laurie! This is something I’ve been asked about many times, in various forms, especially by Twin Flames in Separation.

Twin Flame Ascension is a soul process which unfortunately hasn’t been designed to fit into our everyday lives as human beings here on Earth. To manage all the changes that tend to show up after Awakening, can involve many new and unexpected challenges and quirks to adjust to along the way.

Rest assured that ultimately, all the changes are for a good and positive reason. However, I completely understand that the process of energy shifting and soul awakening can be a challenge – as always the Twin Flame journey is deeply transformative and it can be tough to adapt to these changes while still living our everyday lives.

Here are 5 Surprising Facts about the Twin Flame connection that explain the experiences you’re describing:



What we experience in life is energetically mirroring a deeper truth within ourselves. So a good place to start here is to ask yourself – are you able to love yourself? How do you feel about your own self?  Sometimes what’s happening on the outside is trying to get us to look within… And a very obvious question if you feel unable to love others, is are you able to love yourself?

This could be your Soul deliberately showing you that in order for you to move outside and love, you first need to nurture yourself and love yourself. 

Very specifically, your heart chakra could be depleted (often this stems from giving to others but not receiving – an imbalance energetically).

Im shown that Twins actually strengthen and assist one another via this Heart Energy during the Ascension process (Twins always share a bond from heart to heart). If your Twin has been needing a lot of support you could have been sending a lot of energy to him and thereby depleting yourself.

Check inside and ask to see, feel, hear or know how open your heart chakra is, and get a sense for whether it feels “glowing” and full, or “empty” and dull…

If you get a sense of being depleted energetically, try setting your heart to 35% for the next few weeks every day to fill yourself up more. Keep an eye on yourself, connect to the light daily (there’s a free tool for download here) to fill yourself up and see if you feel less zapped emotionally/romantically after a while.

Once you feel more “filled up” you can start to experiment with opening your Heart Chakra more, bit by bit.

When working with your chakras, remember that you don’t need to meditate for hours to achieve results – intending that you’re opening and closing it is enough. As energetic beings, we have instant command of our system from a place of intention and belief.

To learn more about the Chakra System, how to clear your energy and manage your vibration to make the Twin Flame journey a smoother ride to harmony and Reunion – have a look here.



Be aware that you could still be going through Ascension and entering into the energetic Union or Soul Merge with your Twin even if you’re not romantically together.

Remember that the Twin dynamic is not strictly romantic, it’s a soul connection above all. Twins can share unconditional love without this being a sexual connection.

The Twin Flame Union process is designed to bring you and your Twin’s energies together in alignment so you may eventually function as a high vibrational gateway for light to enter the earth plane. This happens energetically, however, and you can still do this while going on with your life in other ways.

A Soul Merge doesn’t necessarily involve you and your Twin being in a relationship (although it most often does). You two agreed to come to earth to energetically form a gateway for positive energy and to carry the energy template of Unconditional Love.

How you decide to live or interact as human beings together, is more up to you. During the Ascension and Union process, however, you are being energetically isolated from others by your soul in order for you to get to that place of unity.

So while this is going on, the very fabric of your being will have a distaste for other people, especially intimately – this is because your Soul and your Energy is focused on your Twin. Regardless of how you feel about him or her romantically.


As Ascension goes on and any energy, beliefs, patterns and karma that is out of alignment with Love comes to the surface, it’s very possible that you could have hit upon a snag or a block.

Consider us human beings a bit like a house, with layers and layers of paint plastered onto us more and more the longer we live. Eventually, the surface is coated thickly with both old and new paint of varying colours, consistencies and so on.

The Ascension process is all about peeling back these layers to get down to who we really are as souls underneath, but just like with stripping paint, it doesn’t all come off in one go – it happens layer by layer like an archaeological excavation. 

So from time to time, we hit upon wounds and particularly ingrained energetic negativity. These are what have created blocks for us both with our Twin and in life in general. Things like deep wounds of rejection from childhood, or cellular memories of the pain of betrayal from when a first boyfriend kissed someone else, and other traumatic experiences.

So you sound like you’ve hit upon a pattern that relates to you feeling unsafe to open up to love. This means that no matter how consciously ready you think you are, there is a subconscious counter-intention. When you have a subconscious pattern of associating love with pain your whole being will be working to block you from opening up, in order to protect you from pain.

Inner child healing is profoundly effective for this on the Twin Flame path, as we get a chance to bypass the ego’s resistance mechanisms to heal old wounds. 

Our strongest functioning neurologically and mentally (the subconscious) relates to survival. So if anywhere in your background, you have had an experience of associating Love with pain, you most likely have a pattern of avoiding love because you’ve made the decision (no matter how unconsciously) that Love is unsafe for you.

This means that in any situation where your subconscious mind perceives danger again (i.e. a possibility of you opening up to love), it “shuts you off”.

Your mind goes into automatic to do whatever necessary to get you to walk away, so you can avoid more pain. This often manifests as feelings of numbness and detachment – protection strategies to keep you “safe”.

What’s happening right now is your soul is actually trying to help you by bringing this to your attention right now, because this pattern is blocking you from experiencing Love fully. Karma and energy clearing will help you get to the root of any pattern, so you can open up again.


Most Twins have shared past life experiences together, and there is often a fierce loyalty between Twin Flames. A source of your issue with feeling unable to love anyone else, can relate to this.

You and your Twin could have made a promise to each other in the past to never love anyone else, or you could even have been married to each other before. These things are still present as energy attachments and patterns in your being, unless you’ve cleared them.

Although our conscious self is unaware of these things, they are there behind the scenes impacting our functioning.

All Twin Flames share a Soul Bond, an energetic cord, between their Hearts. This is the bond of Unconditional Love, and is unbreakable. This is a positive bond. 

However, most Twin Flames also have other attachments to each other, and these other attachments can often be disruptive, as in your case.

When two people are in love and involved sexually, it is extremely common for energetic attachments to form where they connect to each other’s sacral chakras and genitals, and hearts. If you sense someone feeling protective and jealous of you interacting with others while you’re in a relationship, you could be picking up on energy from this type of an attachment.

Other common forms of attachment are fear based cords rooted in fears of abandonment, and these often have their basis in past life trauma experienced between the Twin Flame pair.

I’ve had Twin clients who have been in separation wondering why they can’t seem to come together, only for the situation to resolve itself once we clear karma between them. In many cases the reason they’d not been able to come together was unconscious self-sabotage.

Due to past life trauma of being separated forcibly and violently, they had formed a belief that it was dangerous to come together. They had been staying apart in order to protect each other from harm.

Resolving karma can really transform a situation – phobias, irrational fears and strange obsessions with particular situations, times, cultures, are nearly always rooted in karmic patterns.

The great thing is that clearing karma is smooth and instant. We go through karma clearings in both of the Energy Clearing Sessions for Twin Flames.


Due to Awakening and Ascension you could be in a period of reconfiguring your energy, even aside from the Union process. As our Vibration and intentions and desires change in life, we energetically come into alignment with new people and different types of relationships.

You could be in a period of fluctuating energy at this point, preparing energetically behind the scenes for new things. This means Your Soul is lining up new things for you but you’re not quite in alignment yet – it’s coming, but hasn’t “reached you” in the physical yet.

Many Twins experience this during Ascension – old relationships and friendships slip away as things change internally. Most often the tell-tale sign of relationships, jobs and places being out of alignment, is this feeling of emptiness or dullness: a lack of attraction. It’s your energy signalling that “this is not a match anymore”.

Trust that you’ll feel it when you’re ready to make a move again, whether your new-found or reignited romantic feelings end up being for your Twin or for someone else. The fact that you feel unable to open up to love, is absolutely a sign that something is off-balance energetically for you.

Don’t worry, as the issue will work itself out and realign, especially if you yourself take steps to address the imbalance and reach a state of love and joy again.

Until then, make sure you nurture and love yourself, as this is important for attracting and experiencing love with another – your relationship with yourself is the starting point for any relationship.


Rest assured that this is not a permanent thing – your ability to love hasn’t been shut off forever.

Consider it your Soul wrapping you up tight while you’re like a Butterfly in the Chrysalis stage. It’s a process meant to protect you during your time of transformation.

Later, you’ll emerge a beautiful “butterfly” – energetically freer and lighter than before, and able to love in a new and bigger way than ever.

Twin Flame Union is all about reaching a state of Unconditional Love, so when you get to that point you’ll not only be able to love your twin but to have a fundamental Love and joy to share with any other individual you meet, no matter what. Loving the light of their soul, regardless of any earth categories of romance or friendship.

To speed up this chrysalis process and learn to manage your energy so you can function from a place of love and joy no matter where you’re at on your journey – have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program. (We now have a number of new testimonials and reviews by Twins who have shared their wonderful experiences with the program).

Alternatively you can try my Free starter kit!

As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey!

Cassady x

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  1. “During the Ascension
    and Union process, however, you are being energetically isolated from
    others by your soul in order for you to get to that place of unity.” This cannot be more true for me, my social interaction are minimal, I have a feeling I’m purifyng my energy, sometimes I feel all my back on fire in each chakra. I’m actually enjoying solutude and want to spend most of my time alone or working, which is pretty uncommon for me. I have even lost interest in having sex with a partner that I sometimes hang out with, I feel like it would just mess with my energy. I’m separated from my twin and not on speaking terms but somehow I feel this will change soon and that this is all preparation for it. Whatever comes I guess it will be in my best interest, so I’m quite happy and positive most of the time 🙂

    1. Found, I know it can be a big adjustment but don’t worry about this – it’s for sure a transition period you’re going through. I’m glad you sense this already. That inner sense that “better” things are coming, is a great indicator because it’s clear that you *are* in alignment with happy new developments – your energy is signalling it to you already! <3 x Sending you love and light Cassady

    2. I totally understand where you are coming from. I had been intimate with my twin for some time. We have been apart and I have fond that I love being isolated. Purifying my energy and finding that I have really been finding me. Loving me!!!! I did try dating (no sex) but don’t want to be in another mans energy. I too don’t want it to mess with my energy. I also feel something will change soon. I get a little down occasionally, but mostly happy.
      Happy journeys!!!!

  2. Wow – “When you have a subconscious pattern of associating love with pain your whole being will be working to block you from opening up, in order to protect you from pain.” This is 100% me. My twin is the only person I’ve met in 30 years where I felt safe to love fully – with all my heart, unconditionally. Even though we’re not together, when we met, my heart broke open, and love started flowing freely.

    1. Mary, Thanks for your comment…. your experience has been mine as well. With my Heart breaking open by physically meeting my twin has led me to a journey of falling in love with myself by having unconditional love for him! Which in turn is helping me to love my children more and the world around me. Fascinating how this blessing keeps revealing life to me.. and it keeps evolving. Cassidy …. this post by far has been the most heart resounding and life affirming. Thank you.

    2. Mary
      I met my twin when I was 53 years old. The FIRST time I was ever in love. I thought I was in love with my husband of 22 years, but wow, when I met my twin I couldn’t believe that feeling. Like you, my twin was the only man that I was able to open my heart to and expose my naked soul to. I was never able to bare my soul to my ex husband.
      My twin and I are in separation right now. I trust that the universe has my back!

  3. My whole life, I never felt interested in dating. Not out of fear but simply because there was no interest; I just didn’t feel “it” and without that feeling, I did not feel the desire to be involved with anyone because I’d only feel platonically for almost everyone. I’ve been in two relationshsips (not counting with my TF), and in both I didn’t feel “it”…but I i guess in each situation I figured I enoyed the person’s company and went with it. Now that I’ve met and have been with my TF (we’re currently physically seperated), I know what “it” I was looking to feel. Within a week of us meeting, I had a vision of her in a wedding dress and a few days after that was sruck with the thought of “this is the woman I’m going to marry.” And now I feel like I know why I was never interested in being involved with anyone.
    I don’t feel a loss a over my lack of interest in romance with others, and very happy with my platonic/friendly connections to other people. Is this because my soul knew there would only be one for me in my TF? Or might this still be a block/ marriage contract with my TF from a past life?

  4. Hi Cassady,

    Why is this always resonating in me? The childhood trauma, past life experience, behind-the-scene union, ascension process… almost everything! Thank you so much for the forecast Cassady! Sending you my love and light 🙂

  5. numbness..has been what i’ve been feeling… im beginning to get feelings for my best friend and yet i still think about my twin everyday he’s still there.. i couldnt figure out what was going on.. because i havent spoken to him in so long. but it’s numbness. makes sense. thank you for this post.. i was truly hoping it’d be something like this.. your posts are always on point and resonant, i really enjoy them, thank you 🙂 <3

  6. Hi, there is one question I have because it sounds like there’s a contradictory in what you saying. One part you say that Twins don’t always have to be romantically involved to start ascension and in another story you say that when having sex with someone else it energetically affects the twins…….so question. How does one have a healthy sex life if not romantically involved with twin flame while connected??? Are you maybe suggestion that one becomes celebrant if we are twins but not romantically or sexually involved ????

    1. Hi Dean,

      The simple solution is energy clearing! And follow your intuition for what’s right for you.

      Sex is a huge transmitter of energy, so it’s correct that when you sleep
      with someone you take on some of their energy and you theirs. People
      who have a very busy sex life with many different people can end up with
      very chaotic energy because of this.

      Really, our human systems are wired to run our own energy and it can be unhealthy to have too much of others’ energy in our space. Those who are empaths notice this as a desire to spend time alone – it’s to get some clear space with our own energy again.

      My advice would be to follow your intuition – go with what feels right to you, what feels light and expansive. (We’re all different, so what works for you might not be ideal for someone else).

      The Twin journey is completely voluntary, and each journey/each twin pair’s karma is unique. No one will make you be abstinent or to only sleep with your Twin.

      However, the laws of energy are universal – taking on others’ energy does complicate things on the energetic level. You tangle yourself up with the person you’re sleeping with, and that’s your choice to make.

      I’m not here to judge anyone who has sex with someone other than their
      twin of course (!) – the article you mention was simply describing the energetic implications of doing so . Like having a glass of clear water – the more
      drops of different colors (people’s energy) you put into it, the muddier it gets.

      In general I would just advice to clear your energy regularly, like you’d brush your teeth or shower every day.

      Sending you love and light <3 x


  7. Greetings. I have found my Twin Flame and he also agreed that we are as
    well. Only thing is, he is my 3rd cousin, which is not considered
    incest, but he is married right now and is worried about once we are
    together, what his mother and two older children will think about us
    being together. I, too, am concerned about his situation as well.
    Because it will become our situation. I also have a young daughter who
    we are concerned about as well.
    > We live over 700 miles away from
    each other and right now, he is living his “married” life and I am
    taking care of my elderly parents whose health is failing for both. We
    agreed that once my parents have passed, my daughter and I will move to
    where he is for a better life for both (all of us). But, we have a
    strong bond and getting stronger with each passing day. We are growing
    together as we are living apart for now. We are both waiting VERY
    patiently for the time when we will be finally together. It’s getting
    harder and harder for both of us being apart like this. Any suggestions
    as to how to help us? Thank you.

  8. I see about the marriage contracts to said Twin Flame. I keep seeing a ring and hearing will you marry me. I’m not sure if this is a past life, it probably is. In every relationship I felt like these people were not for me after awhile of being with them and had the feeling this is not the person and this was before I even knew what twin flames were. I do feel like I want to be faithful to him even though he is not in this world anymore and I want to be faithful to him because I love him. Like I said on your facebook page there is always a reason for you re-posting these blog posts.

  9. Hi Bee, no this isn’t forbidden at all – that’s a constructed human perspective. It’s a natural instinct for Twins to desire to merge. Don’t feel guilty at all. Love is love <3

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