Q: What is the one thing I can do right now to get closer to my Twin Flame?

A: Forgive yourself.

This may sound like a deceptively simple answer to a big question but most of us don’t fully realize how much hurt and negative energy we direct at ourselves every day that blocks us from our true happiness and from moving forward. Holding negativity inside prevents us from opening up to others, including the one person we desire to get closer to than we ever had imagined possible – our Twin Flame.

It’s a habit most of us have, to keep an internal directory of all the mistakes we’ve made throughout life and all the things we should have done differently – maybe we believed someone who turned out to be lying to us and we ‘should’ have known better, maybe someone gave us a chance and we didn’t make the most of it when it mattered, maybe we feel that we won’t measure up to the ideals we hold for ourselves, and maybe deep inside we just plain don’t like ourselves very much.

What are you hiding from yourself?

Rarely do we think about this consciously; these issues tend to come in the form of the proverbial skeletons in the closet, the invisible list of wrongs and lacks and flaws that stay in the background most of the time – the problem is we don’t tend to realize how much this inner score-board of negativity actually affects us.

In reality this kind of pattern will hold us in a self-made emotional prison until we decide to break free once and for all – realize that you held the key all this time. You are who you choose to be, not who you’ve been told you are or what the past dictates. Every moment is a fresh start, so make the most of it.

Holding onto past hurts and a self-image based in lack, guilt or shame prevents us from moving forward, and above all it’s notorious for messing up our relationships because we end up projecting negativity onto the other person, subconsciously expecting them to reject us for any or all of the “proven reasons” on our list of self-judgments. And unfortunately, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As pioneer of psychoanalysis, Carl Jung, said: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 

Keeping the past around

So the most important and loving thing you’ll ever do for yourself is to let it go. Forgive yourself.  The past is gone. And any mistake you ever made taught you valuable lessons that enabled you to grow as a person. In this moment, you are who you are now, not who you were then. And another thing: who among us keeps an internal score of all the good things we’ve done? Maybe we should!

Floodgates open

When you come together with your Twin Flame, all barriers are torn down: if you do what you can to be content with yourself and happy on the inside even when you’re all alone, you will align yourself with positivity and bring out unconditional love in your relationship. If you hold yourself in lack and negativity, that’s what you’ll bring out around your Twin Flame – your unconscious patterns of negativity will keep being triggered and brought up until you face and resolve them.

So, are you willing to forgive yourself?


Do you have a question you need answered? Feel free to post in the comments – we’ll select a question to answer each week

For an easy, fun way to manage your mindset, elevate your vibration and harmonize your journey with your Twin, have a look at the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames here.

Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit

As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey!

Cassady x

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  1. Wow, thanks @GoddessBabalon:disqus that means a lot to me <3 – When I decided to start this blog the above post was the first thing my guides suggested because self forgiveness is something many of us tend to forget about 🙂

  2. For years I tried to do the TF blog thing but it never really worked – I did OK as a reader and still do, but I just kept hitting blocks with it and so much ego – I now realise its not what I need to do, plenty of TF bloggers out there now, but few are in a place to give real helpful insight with clarity and ego free as yours feels to be here. Great stuff. I get the same messages over and over – but we are always in a different place when we get them so it seeps in a bit deeper with more clarity each time – I am getting there with it though, seems to be a process! <3

  3. @GoddessBabalon:disqus Thank you! I feel the more of us talk about our experiences the more we can demystify this whole thing – I’d especially like to clear away this myth that it’s *supposed* to be a struggle to be with your Twin Flame … I completely agree re. the messages: things completely change depending on the energy we’re holding from day to day – sometimes a song can be the best in the world and other days it’s terrible – I’ve noticed that works for how we look to ourselves in the mirror too… 😉 xx

  4. Thank for this sounds like me. When we were separated. I was devastated. I had 1000 knives jabbed into my heart constantly. I never knew this is possible. Then I started I blame his existence. I blamed myself for my mistakes. Blame myself for loving or “choosing” to love someone who is imperfect with egoistical issues, who is cold hearted and rude but I know deep down he is in lonely soul. I do not know why I felt it. Then then I start to embrace the pain, embrace in forgiving myself. With the pain, I learn to have unconditional love. Even though he doesn’t love me back now (he seems to be very cold to me), I meditate, pray and forgave myself. Also I learn to love him unconditionally without expecting anything in return from him. And I felt my heart in a burning healing feeling instead of knives. I feel safe and comfortable. I cried with tears of love and joy instead of pain and anguish. He might or may not be my twin. But right now I feel whole thinking and loving him without expect anything in return. Because he is the first person who made me feel such connection and emotions within. The first person who drove me up the wall. The first person who made me crazy. The first person whom I felt “home” with. I’m still not making sense of this. All of this is so new to me. Am I sane in feeling how I am feeling? Everyday I asked myself this question haha. Thanks Cassady!

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