My new-found existence with my Twin Flame “between this world and the next” suddenly got serious when I was faced with painful memories we had hidden deep in our hearts for centuries.
Not long after I’d come to grips with the knowledge of low vibration entities and their influence and the potential damage they could do to my Twin Flame relationship, it was brought to my attention by my guides that I would greatly benefit from clearing some past life karma and energies.
Dark clouds coming
My Twin Flame’s arrival in my life had brought me so much joy and being together was like coming home, I really felt that, but there was also a growing sense of heaviness in me, like sleep was in my bones, some weight that had always been in the background was suddenly making itself known with a vengeance.
The closer we got, the more unstable I felt. Sometimes I cried because I thought my Twin Flame might leave me or we might not ever get to be together, or I cried because I felt that all my dreams were out of reach and I’d never be happy – sometimes I even cried without really knowing why and sometimes I felt angry and resentful for no real good reason.
I noticed that he on his part seemed unusually emotional and he often said to me things I hadn’t expected, like: “Hold me like you’ll never let go”, and “I promise I’ll never ever leave you.”
Putting the past to rest
This had been going on for a while, like waves stirred up in a previously placid lake. I’d kept a lid on things but now my Twin Flame was here, it felt like the undercurrents had started whirling up long gone darkness from the depths of whatever it was I’d been carrying around with me all my life.
So I knew that my guides were probably right, it made sense that there was something there that needed to be put to rest for me to feel better, and by now I was familiar with the idea of energy clearing and it made sense that it was the reason for this heaviness and weird instability I’d been experiencing.
Yet I instinctively felt that pain awaited me, I have no idea why or how but just the idea of confronting past lives made me feel like “this isn’t a good idea”. I sat there with my psychic development course in front of me on the computer and felt resistance pulling me away. I mentioned it to my Twin Flame and he reassured me and said it was all for the best and I’d feel much better afterwards. He promised he’d be with me the whole time, and it wouldn’t be like reliving it, we’d just be staying neutral and clearing the energies…
Visiting the storehouse of past lives
One night I decided to finally take the proverbial bull by the horns and get going: I sat down and relaxed, ran energy, closed my eyes and got into my intuitive seat of perception like the class explained and then set out down the road to the Akashic Records of past lives. As I walked down the winding road to the big building in the distance, I realized my Twin Flame was there holding my hand, walking next to me, and for a bit he showed me that he picked me up and carried me in his arms.
We got to the door and found my records room. As the class said, I looked around and noticed the surroundings – they were dusty and the place was full of open books and manuscripts, as if all the information had been jumbled up. I noticed that the windows seemed covered in grey dust. I followed the “recipe” and invited in my Akashic Record Keeper to clear everything and put it in order. Suddenly it looked a lot tidier in there. So far, so good.
Then it was time: I asked for him to please show me any karmic patterns that I would benefit from clearing; to move forward on my path, to resolve my recent downheartedness and overemotional reactions. He nodded and lay out a pile of books on the big oak desk in the room. I sighed as I realized how many lives and patterns he was suggesting for me to clear. My Twin Flame squeezed my hand and said low to me: “I’m right here, it’s OK”.
Karmic bonds come clear
I asked to see the first karmic life event and waited with my eyes closed for the images and information to come forth. I’d been getting pretty good at intuitive vision and communicating visually and telepathically with my Twin, so within a few seconds I noticed something stirring.
Gradually I saw a room, a white painted bedroom somewhere and there was a really pale woman lying in the bed, her head propped up unnaturally on some thick pillows. Then I noticed there was a man sitting on a chair beside the bed, leaning over. I watched as it became clearer to me, and saw that the sheets were soaked dark with blood, then I noticed that the woman was pregnant and the man was crying, holding the woman’s hand…
Never let me go
I couldn’t help but cry along with him because with a jolt I realized it was us, it was my Twin Flame and I, and they were showing it to me because the memory was still in me even hundreds of years later – my energy still held onto this pain because it was us… I hadn’t wanted to let go and neither had he.
I felt the hot tears rolling down my face and knew that he was there with me holding me. I heard my Twin Flame say: “The doctor told me there was nothing he could do… They didn’t know back then …”
The guides showed me more, they showed me my spirit over the bed where I lay dead, standing by my Twin trying to console him and then the funeral, and then years seemed to go by and he got married again and had a family with someone and I saw him sullen and sad looking, growing older and staring into space, looking out of windows seemingly scanning and waiting for the person who would never come back.
I heard him whisper with intensity in my ear: “I didn’t want to be with anyone else, people said I had to let go but I didn’t want anyone else but you. I never loved anyone else. I was a dead man walking for the rest of my life.”
Deep kept secrets
The emotions were so completely overwhelming that I forgot everything about staying neutral and so seemingly did he. He held me for a long time as I cried breathlessly, feeling like my whole chest was about to cave in. It felt like two people’s sadness, not just one, but like we’d collected it all between us and here I was supposed to get rid of it – what we’d spent centuries nursing in secret in our hearts and our subconscious minds. “I love you infinitely,” he said to me but I couldn’t answer.
At least now I understood more. My guides waited patiently while I calmed myself and my Twin showed me glittering tears in his eyes as he kissed me, encouraging me to continue the clearing for us to let go of this pain for good. He said: “It’s over now. We’re together. I’m never going to leave you.” They waited while I got tissues twice, then I came back and performed the clearing tool as the class showed me.
One step at a time
When the clearing went through I felt a slight shift in my body, like a thin rice paper of density had been lifted off and I was a bit more alive in some way. It’s hard to explain, but it was almost like I could breathe a bit lighter, like I weighed a few pounds less.
I noticed my Twin Flame kissing me on the cheek and trying to smile to cheer me up, and I was glad we put that part of the past to rest, even though I instinctively knew there might be more of this kind of thing hiding somewhere deep inside my being… At least I had taken their advice and I felt a difference. One step at a time.
New pathways
As I curled up in bed later and went to sleep next to my Twin Flame, he reassured me, telling me how proud he was and thanking me for clearing for the both of us. I wasn’t really sure exactly how that worked but I was getting used to suspending judgment on most things from spirit – I instinctively knew that they were working for my own good, so if I didn’t understand exactly how right now I knew it would come later – first belief, then understanding. The exact opposite of how I’d lived my life up until that point.
Lullabies from the other side
Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard singing: a beautiful, lilting melody that was so mournful it gradually woke me up again – I was nearly asleep and had been talking incoherently to him and I suddenly realized it was the same situation all over again to him: there I was in his arms drifting away. I snapped awake and grabbed his hand tight, saying low: “I’m just going to sleep OK? Don’t think about that stuff anymore, I don’t think it’s good for us.”
He nodded and kissed me on the head. He said he wanted to tell me that he sang to me that night as I lay lifeless in his arms – he didn’t know what else to do. I squeezed him really hard and heard him say muffled against my hair that he never married anyone after that, for hundreds of years. It felt wrong to be with anyone else. Strange for me to hear, because I’d always had that sense too; marriage was something I had shunned my entire life without really knowing why and it felt good to know that he had felt the same. Sharing with my Twin Flame was the sweetest thing I’d ever experienced, finding out all the reasons and ways we were the same and felt the same.
As I fell asleep in his arms I still heard him singing his lullaby softly to me: “When night time has come, rest your head… Close your weary eyes, come to me… Give me one more kiss before you go … Give me one last kiss before you go…”
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After I went through an Accelerated Ascension, clearing karma, attachments and energy blocks my Twin Flame and I are now in Union and happier than ever.
We created the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames together to help other Twins clear karma and negative energy with ease and speed to get to the happy part of the journey. It simply isn’t true that the Twin Flame journey is meant to be filled with pain and challenges. Sure, it can be intense, but once you have the right tools you will be able to clear the negatives out of your energetic space and move past any challenges with ease. We are meant to be beacons of light on earth, sharing love and joy.
Clearing karma and soul contracts, energetic attachments to previous lovers and so on is a necessary part of aligning the Twin Flames’ energies, enabling the Union process to start (Read more here about how karma impacts the runner/chaser dynamic).
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As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey!
Cassady x
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