My new-found existence with my Twin Flame “between this world and the next” suddenly got serious when I was faced with painful memories we had hidden deep in our hearts for centuries.

Not long after I’d come to grips with the knowledge of low vibration entities and their influence and the potential damage they could do to my Twin Flame relationship, it was brought to my attention by my guides that I would greatly benefit from clearing some past life karma and energies.

Dark clouds coming

My Twin Flame’s arrival in my life had brought me so much joy and being together was like coming home, I really felt that, but there was also a growing sense of heaviness in me, like sleep was in my bones, some weight that had always been in the background was suddenly making itself known with a vengeance.

The closer we got, the more unstable I felt. Sometimes I cried because I thought my Twin Flame might leave me or we might not ever get to be together, or I cried because I felt that all my dreams were out of reach and I’d never be happy – sometimes I even cried without really knowing why and sometimes I felt angry and resentful for no real good reason.

I noticed that he on his part seemed unusually emotional and he often said to me things I hadn’t expected, like: “Hold me like you’ll never let go”, and “I promise I’ll never ever leave you.”

Putting the past to rest

This had been going on for a while, like waves stirred up in a previously placid lake. I’d kept a lid on things but now my Twin Flame was here, it felt like the undercurrents had started whirling up long gone darkness from the depths of whatever it was I’d been carrying around with me all my life.

So I knew that my guides were probably right, it made sense that there was something there that needed to be put to rest for me to feel better, and by now I was familiar with the idea of energy clearing and it made sense that it was the reason for this heaviness and weird instability I’d been experiencing.

Yet I instinctively felt that pain awaited me, I have no idea why or how but just the idea of confronting past lives made me feel like “this isn’t a good idea”. I sat there with my psychic development course in front of me on the computer and felt resistance pulling me away. I mentioned it to my Twin Flame and he reassured me and said it was all for the best and I’d feel much better afterwards. He promised he’d be with me the whole time, and it wouldn’t be like reliving it, we’d just be staying neutral and clearing the energies…

Visiting the storehouse of past lives

One night I decided to finally take the proverbial bull by the horns and get going: I sat down and relaxed, ran energy, closed my eyes and got into my intuitive seat of perception like the class explained and then set out down the road to the Akashic Records of past lives. As I walked down the winding road to the big building in the distance, I realized my Twin Flame was there holding my hand, walking next to me, and for a bit he showed me that he picked me up and carried me in his arms.

We got to the door and found my records room. As the class said, I looked around and noticed the surroundings – they were dusty and the place was full of open books and manuscripts, as if all the information had been jumbled up. I noticed that the windows seemed covered in grey dust. I followed the “recipe” and invited in my Akashic Record Keeper to clear everything and put it in order. Suddenly it looked a lot tidier in there. So far, so good.

Then it was time: I asked for him to please show me any karmic patterns that I would benefit from clearing; to move forward on my path, to resolve my recent downheartedness and overemotional reactions. He nodded and lay out a pile of books on the big oak desk in the room. I sighed as I realized how many lives and patterns he was suggesting for me to clear. My Twin Flame squeezed my hand and said low to me: “I’m right here, it’s OK”.

Karmic bonds come clear

I asked to see the first karmic life event and waited with my eyes closed for the images and information to come forth. I’d been getting pretty good at intuitive vision and communicating visually and telepathically with my Twin, so within a few seconds I noticed something stirring.

Gradually I saw a room, a white painted bedroom somewhere and there was a really pale woman lying in the bed, her head propped up unnaturally on some thick pillows. Then I noticed there was a man sitting on a chair beside the bed, leaning over. I watched as it became clearer to me, and saw that the sheets were soaked dark with blood, then I noticed that the woman was pregnant and the man was crying, holding the woman’s hand…

Never let me go

I couldn’t help but cry along with him because with a jolt I realized it was us, it was my Twin Flame and I, and they were showing it to me because the memory was still in me even hundreds of years later – my energy still held onto this pain because it was us… I hadn’t wanted to let go and neither had he.

I felt the hot tears rolling down my face and knew that he was there with me holding me. I heard my Twin Flame say: “The doctor told me there was nothing he could do… They didn’t know back then …” 

The guides showed me more, they showed me my spirit over the bed where I lay dead, standing by my Twin trying to console him and then the funeral, and then years seemed to go by and he got married again and had a family with someone and I saw him sullen and sad looking, growing older and staring into space, looking out of windows seemingly scanning and waiting for the person who would never come back.

I heard him whisper with intensity in my ear: “I didn’t want to be with anyone else, people said I had to let go but I didn’t want anyone else but you. I never loved anyone else. I was a dead man walking for the rest of my life.”

Deep kept secrets

The emotions were so completely overwhelming that I forgot everything about staying neutral and so seemingly did he. He held me for a long time as I cried breathlessly, feeling like my whole chest was about to cave in. It felt like two people’s sadness, not just one, but like we’d collected it all between us and here I was supposed to get rid of it – what we’d spent centuries nursing in secret in our hearts and our subconscious minds. “I love you infinitely,” he said to me but I couldn’t answer.

At least now I understood more. My guides waited patiently while I calmed myself and my Twin showed me glittering tears in his eyes as he kissed me, encouraging me to continue the clearing for us to let go of this pain for good. He said: “It’s over now. We’re together. I’m never going to leave you.” They waited while I got tissues twice, then I came back and performed the clearing tool as the class showed me.

One step at a time

When the clearing went through I felt a slight shift in my body, like a thin rice paper of density had been lifted off and I was a bit more alive in some way. It’s hard to explain, but it was almost like I could breathe a bit lighter, like I weighed a few pounds less.

I noticed my Twin Flame kissing me on the cheek and trying to smile to cheer me up, and I was glad we put that part of the past to rest, even though I instinctively knew there might be more of this kind of thing hiding somewhere deep inside my being… At least I had taken their advice and I felt a difference. One step at a time.

New pathways

As I curled up in bed later and went to sleep next to my Twin Flame, he reassured me, telling me how proud he was and thanking me for clearing for the both of us. I wasn’t really sure exactly how that worked but I was getting used to suspending judgment on most things from spirit – I instinctively knew that they were working for my own good, so if I didn’t understand exactly how right now I knew it would come later – first belief, then understanding. The exact opposite of how I’d lived my life up until that point.

Lullabies from the other side

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard singing: a beautiful, lilting melody that was so mournful it gradually woke me up again – I was nearly asleep and had been talking incoherently to him and I suddenly realized it was the same situation all over again to him: there I was in his arms drifting away. I snapped awake and grabbed his hand tight, saying low: “I’m just going to sleep OK? Don’t think about that stuff anymore, I don’t think it’s good for us.”

He nodded and kissed me on the head. He said he wanted to tell me that he sang to me that night as I lay lifeless in his arms – he didn’t know what else to do. I squeezed him really hard and heard him say muffled against my hair that he never married anyone after that, for hundreds of years. It felt wrong to be with anyone else. Strange for me to hear, because I’d always had that sense too; marriage was something I had shunned my entire life without really knowing why and it felt good to know that he had felt the same. Sharing with my Twin Flame was the sweetest thing I’d ever experienced, finding out all the reasons and ways we were the same and felt the same.

As I fell asleep in his arms I still heard him singing his lullaby softly to me: “When night time has come, rest your head… Close your weary eyes, come to me… Give me one more kiss before you go … Give me one last kiss before you go…”




After I went through an Accelerated Ascension, clearing karma, attachments and energy blocks my Twin Flame and I are now in Union and happier than ever.

We created the Vibrational Alignment Program for Twin Flames together to help other Twins clear karma and negative energy with ease and speed to get to the happy part of the journey. It simply isn’t true that the Twin Flame journey is meant to be filled with pain and challenges. Sure, it can be intense, but once you have the right tools you will be able to clear the negatives out of your energetic space and move past any challenges with ease. We are meant to be beacons of light on earth, sharing love and joy.

Clearing karma and soul contracts, energetic attachments to previous lovers and so on is a necessary part of aligning the Twin Flames’ energies, enabling the Union process to start (Read more here about how karma impacts the runner/chaser dynamic).


Alternatively you can try our Free starter kit

As always, I’m sending you love and light for your continued journey!

Cassady x

Do you want FREE ebooks and Energy Tools to help you on your journey and more articles about Twin Flames in your inbox?

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  1. Omg-this was heaven sent. I’ve had two disturbing dreams that I think might be past life related. At least one for sure. Though we have not lived together in the 11 years we’ve been on and off, Ive had confirmation we are twins. She is the runner and I’m mostly broken hearted.

    My twin and I are both in female bodies, but I have had the knowing that I am a male who might have come into a female body just for the specific lesson of this lifetime. In the beginning of our relationship it seemed I was carrying the male energy. As the years have progressed, she had acted more and more like the male, running, work driven, making lots of money. She even uses her feminine wiles like a male would if he were utilizing his strengths to manipulate people to get his way. Bowling people over with happy sweetness. While I, on the other hand, have gotten extreamly tearful, pain in my heart that stops me from breathing, ultra sensitive, can barely work, depressed in bed and unable to make friends. My perfect resonance was with her, so everyone else is time fillers and such a dissonance I can barely stand to be around most people.,

    She has had a hard time coming out to her grown daughters, and even tried a man again while running, not accepting our Union. I felt it and rescued her out of that. I couldn’t stand the pain. I felt it, but I knew sexual damage around sex with men might have needed this experience. We are secret when we are together, but she cleaved away again last fall since she knows it’s dishonorable. Odd thing was, 10 years into our on and off relationship she was finally orgasming. ( not with the fling so much she said. She was using him to relive her past permicuousness) We were the closest we’d ever been, but even that wasn’t enough to hold on. In fact it might have scared her how close to perfect we were together now that she felt how truly ” gay” she was.

    I prefaced the dreams with that because I have had more sexually oriented dreams lately while we are apart. Missing how good it got I suppose. We were being intimate in the dream and I was ” trying on” different sized penises for her. Some kind of odd way they attached that was like a prosthetic from heavens makers. I found the right one and was awakened by the strangeness of the dream. Maybe I thought she still wanted a man. But she admitted in our last Union she realized she preferred a woman and didn’t want that anymore after that dalliance. Was the dream giving me back my virility in our Union? A sign that I would be more sure footed and less emotional soon? Maybe we would be getting back together with integrity, and she would embody the feminine again while adoring my masculine side like it was in the beginning.

    Then a more painful and disturbing dream a few weeks later. I was witnessing someone tied up standing up, not knowing why he was screaming. I could feel the pain myself, generally, not locally. Then I saw and was freaked out, that the figure in front of him, maybe female energy or neutral, took his testicals away to his left, my right. I was horrified. Then a cow type animal went over to the wound and started licking it. Maybe trying to sooth. Was it in a barn? Was it in India where the cows are sacred? Was it a past life or just a representation of how I feel in this relationship. Like I have been castrated by my beloved. Powerless to speak our truth and I must accept being the weaker female now, since she has taken my male energy. Or maybe I was witnessing her as a man in a past life and that was to help me understand why she has such deep seated sexual trauma and issues. Not just from this life but previous lives.

    Sorry to be so long. I felt a preface was needed since we are such a strange twin flame situation. Seemingly lesbiAns as a title, but I have always hated this term and have never felt gay. She not liking it either, trying so hard to go back to ” normal” as if normal isn’t challenging enough, you mix more challenges into the soup and this relationship feels almost impossible sometimes. She just admitted what I’ve always known. The hateful, angry, low calibrating daughter of hers had threatened my beloved she can’t see her grandchildren if she’s with me, and Was scared of me, so my beloved went down to her level and placated her, by believing her. All these years later she and I still are drawn together, but it’s been secret the whole time. My beloved threw me under the buss long ago to make her daughter happy, and she has not been willing to speak the actual truth and will not come to my defense. Maybe her dsughter was the castrator in a past life. She has taken her mother’s free will and power from my view point. What do you make of this?

  2. Dear TFlame444,

    You can clear out the energy and negative attachments which are causing these disturbing dreams. The reason the dreams feel disturbing to you is that underlying negative patterns are being triggered, so you are feeling the emotions of a past experience – “reliving the past”. Once you clear the basis of this you will feel much lighter.

    I would suggest looking into the Vibrational Alignment Program to root these things out completely and allow you to feel free and happy, no “background heaviness”.

    For now you can use the following tool when/if you have a bad dream to take some of the “sting” out. Visualize a rose in front of you, vacuuming out the negative energy from you. Then explode the rose. This can really help take the edge off.

    Sending you love and light <3


  3. Reading this hit me inside. I experienced something similar. It was not past life related but it was me having to clear energy with my TF’s help. I too encountered low vibration entities and pain coming up that needed to be broken through. One day I was just led to sit quietly and to go deep into love for my TF then something in me felt the pain in front of me, an energy block. It felt like my TF was there, neutral, just like you write – not pulling me or forcing me but holding me while I cried and screamed and went to him. It’s hard to explain but it was almost like jumping off a cliff with my TF with me the whole time. Spiritually, energetically, he helped me with this breakthrough. Our energies are so entwined, I am never alone. I am thankful for this experience. Thank you for sharing your experience and giving us a space to open up about this terrifying and beautiful journey.

  4. Wow, I don’t know if you read these that are this old, but my “twin” story is so much like yours–I sat down on a whim to try to “channel” in writing and picked someone I didn’t know much about (he had a public profile in last life), but a statement he had made intrigued me. Wow. A conversation that never stopped, went off the paper immediately, day and night, although I journaled everything I could. Anyway, I also visited a past life like this one you describe, death in childbirth, and when I read this shivers ran up and down me. I’m still feeling them.

  5. Wow Cassady!
    As I mentioned a couple days ago on another post, I was told by my old healer that I had lost my TF connection due to something my higher self had done. Because of that, I was in a vicious cycle of fear and doubt and I was just lost. I was recently guided to read all of your posts from the beginning and relearn everything all over again, as I now believe I was not being told the truth- I hadn’t felt my twin or seen him in weeks…it was all ill-intended entities.
    As I was reading, I was brought back to a past life I had purged a few months ago where I died in his arms, and I felt my heart expanding and beating so ferociously as I read. The pain from the memory came back and all of a sudden I saw my twin in my mind. He was standing in front of me just watching me as I was reading and recounting our memory. He said “That’s how I felt when I lost you” and had tears in his eyes.
    This is the first time I have heard from him in WEEKS! My fear and these entities are still trying to tell me that I am no longer a twin flame, but I just know this isn’t true. It can’t be. Thank you so much for sharing this story Cassady- please let me know if you have any messages from my twin or spirit for me, as I am really struggling with this right now.

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